American Author, Ernest Hemingway (1989-1961) once said: “All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really happened and after you are finished reading one you will feel that all that happened to you and afterwards it all belongs to you; the good and the bad, the ecstasy, the remorse, and sorrow, the people and the places and how the weather was.”
While I’ve never pondered my book reading in such a way before, I can surely see how that statement is true. Oft times I have finished a book and felt anxious, tired, surprised, happy, or whatever the main characters were feeling. How many times I have finished a book and wanted immediately to get my hands on the sequel because I needed to know if certain characters were going to get together, or solve some deep-rooted problem?
I’ve given this quote a lot of thought lately with regard to my own writing. I wonder if I’ve managed to capture and keep interest in my story. So, I’m conducting a test. Immediately below is an excerpt from my latest WIP. It’s the conclusion of chapter two of my manuscript entitled “The Ties That Bind.”
Shiloh blew out a breath. The air puffed out into a white vapor that wafted upward. She pulled the hood of her jacket over her head to keep her ears warm. She’d freeze to death down here if she didn’t work fast.
Shining the flashlight’s beam in a slow circle, she located the breaker box behind the wooden stairs. She stepped around a few boxes of tools, discarded machinery parts and cans of paint. With icy fingers, she fumbled with the latch on the box’s metal cover. It wouldn’t budge.
Flooded with disappointment and a growing sense of urgency, she lowered the light to her feet and squatted down to examine the contents of the boxes. She rummaged through greasy tools and jars of nails and screws until she located something that might help her win the battle with the latch. With a somewhat oily screwdriver in hand, she attempted to unlatch the cover again. She grunted with each effort until the latch scraped upward with a screech.
“Finally.”
When the metal box cover swung outward she shined the flashlight onto the breaker switches and squinted. They all looked the same. Was it possible that every breaker could have tripped at the same time? The floor creaked overhead. She held her breath and shot her eyes upward. Nothing but darkness was visible beyond the radius of the flashlight’s beam. Damned old houses!
She focused again on the breaker box and randomly flipped switches from side to side. Nothing happened. The floor creaked again and she stilled. A flash of white zipped across the opening in the ceiling. Shiloh held her breath then blinked a few times. Maybe she’d been staring at the flashlight too long and her eyes were playing tricks on her. Or maybe the storm had intensified and lightning had flashed.
With a grunt she flipped more switches, cursing softly when nothing changed. Panic was starting to set in. By now it would be too late to drive to Twisted Fork.
Abandoning her efforts at the breaker box, she instead picked her way across boxes and plastic tubs of ancient holiday decorations toward the furnace against the adjacent wall. She could light candles for light, but without heat she’d have little chance of surviving through the night if the temperature kept dropping.
She lifted off the bottom grill portion of the furnace. After setting the flashlight on the floor she aimed the beam on to the pilot light and groped around on the floor for the metal box with matches her father always kept nearby. The faint smell of kerosene struck a chord of familiarity. She remembered her father smelling of kerosene on the drafty nights he’d come down here to re-light the pilot light of this old ornery furnace. This new wave of nostalgia brought fresh tears to her eyes.
Now is not the time to reminisce. Find the damn matches and get upstairs!
As she lifted the lid of the matchbox, a bright ray of light switched on behind her, followed immediately by the commanding words of a man who obviously meant business.
“Don’t. Move. A Muscle.”
So tell me dear readers – does this leave you with any feelings? Do you feel as if this has truly happened to you? Do you want to know what’s going to happen next? Have I managed to capture Hemingway’s sentiment about good books? I look forward to your comments. Go ahead, be honest. I expect nothing less from my friends.
Word of the day: Bezique
Fun fact about me: I love sour candy.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt (June 2013) Photos courtesy of Google Images
You torchure me!!! This is the kind of books I LOVE to read………. sooooo when can I get my hands on this??????
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Silly, silly girl. As soon as I’m done writing it and pitching it and selling it. Or, biting the bullet and publishing it myself. I’ll certainly let you know. There may be another installment coming soon, so stayed tuned.
Thanks for stopping by, Kay. I appreciate your support.
Patricia
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Tension! I definitely felt a sense of that, along with curiosity!:) Want to know what’s next! I wonder if a game of Bezique ever gets tense??
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I’m sure Bezique could have it’s tense moments.
I’m glad you liked the excerpt. Sounds like, at least in your opinion, I’m on the right track.
Thanks for stopping by.
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Great excerpt, with high tension and even a hint of sadness. I felt I was there in the basement with Shiloh.
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Awesomesauce!! That’s what I like to hear. Yes, there is sadness (Shiloh’s father has just passed and they had a very tenuous relationship) and certainly there’s some tension going on. Dark, creepy basement in a snow storm.
Thanks for your comments. I love the feedback.
Patricia
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Totally gripping and suspenseful. I want to know who the guy is. I’d keep reading for sure.
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Oh, that’s what I like to hear.
The guy? Hmmm . . . let’s see . . . who could he be? Considering I write romance, there’s a real good chance he’s the hero. Or, maybe not.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. It’s good to know I’m on the right track so far.
I hope you and yours are all well?
Patricia
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First I felt very cold. I have experienced an old heater not working in the middle of winter! Then tension as the creaks overhead were introduced. I absolutely would turn the page to find out what happens and out the identity of the man’. Enjoyed the excerpt!
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Oh thank you, Diana. That’s what I was going for.
Shiloh arrives back home in a snow storm to her estranged father’s house after he dies. She’s been gone 10 years.
Good to know that you want to keep reading!
Thank you for your comment.
Patricia
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Not only do I wonder who the man is, the smell of kerosene leaves me wondering if she’s going to blow up the house when she lights a match. I read it out loud to get a sense of the cadence. It sounds good!
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Ooooo – read it out loud did you? Thank you. I haven’t done that yet, but then again I’m not finished with it either. That’s something I do after I write “the end.”
I’m glad that you think it flows.
The man, hmmm . . . well I do write romance so . . . .
House blowing up? Another interesting theory.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. I appreciate your support.
Patricia
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Love the tension building here, and I feel her memory’s pain. The only thing that tripped me up was “she”. Since, until the end, we believe she’s alone, could some sentences (not all) be reworded to be more active without using “she”?
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Hmmm, good point. I shall save your suggestion for my first round of edits. I’m not finished with this book yet so after “the end” I’ll go back and re-work some stuff.
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. Glad I’ve got the tension thing going. Donald Maass would be proud. (Well probably not, but I’d like to think so anyway.)
Patricia
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Obviously I’ve taken Sue’s lessons from Saturday to heart! Working my way through the resulting edits to my WIP! Yvonne
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I definitely felt the tension building, got a sense for the cold and the smell. I was also seriously creeped out with the flash of white light from above. I knew we were in for some kind of surprise. The question is―is he there to help her or harm her? I would have kept reading.
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Hi Debra. Thanks for stopping by and leaving your thoughts. I’m glad that the general consensus is that I’ve captured the creepy mood and the tension.
Needless to say Shiloh is wondering the same thing about the guy; she’s initially spooked about a guy being in her basement but she also senses relief. Then she sees . . . the gun. (gasp)
I’ll be posting another excerpt next month so hopefully the same emotions will be coming through in that one too.
As always, thanks for your support.
Patricia
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Looking forward to getting my hands on this one. Great job, my friend. Great cliff hanger.
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Oh thanks, Suzanne. It shall be making its way to you very shortly. I just need to finish it. (LOL)
Thanks for swinging by and letting me know your thoughts.
Patricia
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Ooooooooh! Definitely captured the creepy mood and tension. Basements are spooky anyways, but during a storm, and hearing creaking upstairs, and weird flashes of light? And then the man’s voice. Yikers! Good work, Patricia!
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Thanks, Lynn. This chapter reads like a suspense novel, but it really isn’t. I’m going to post another except from the same manuscript shortly to see how opinions change.
Thanks for coming by and sharing your thoughts.
Patricia
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Wow, I love this, Patricia. It’s intriguing and it’s like being right in the room with her. I definitely want to read more. Now, when would that be? 🙂
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Oh Sheila, how I wish I could say it would be available to read real soon, but since I’m not yet published (in novel form), I haven’t gotten my foot in that door. I’m working on it though.
Or perhaps, I’ll try this new thing they call self-publishing. I hear it’s all the rage these days.
I will certainly let everyone know when then can get their hands on it.
Thank you for taking the time to stop by and voicing your opinion. I appreciate it.
Patricia
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