So, it was an average day, like any other. Sort of. It was actually a holiday and about a bazillion degrees outside. I was sitting at my computer writing, like a good little writer does. After adding several thousand words to my current manuscript, I decided it was time to call it a day. Have a brewski, watch some t.v. and relax.
So there I sat, relaxing and drinking beer. Until I realized that my ring finger on my left hand was throbbing something fierce. I looked at it and thought, “Hm. That looks a little red (purple actually) and swollen. Wonder why?”
Must be the heat, I decided. In an effort to relieve the pressure on my finger I wiggled my amazingly beautiful wedding ring around the swollen appendage in an effort to remove it. Pretty ring wouldn’t budge.
“I’ve got to get this thing off!” I twirled the golden sphere and pulled it and yanked on it, applying spit, soap, lotion, ice, everything I could think of to get the blasted piece of junk off my finger. Finally, after much sweating and swearing the dang hunk of obnoxious metal came off. But my finger . . . holy macaroni . . . it was burning and throbbing at almost unbearable proportions.
For a week I iced it and even tried wrapping a very small Ace bandage around it. Swelling did not go away. After another week, I decided it might be time to see a professional.
My regular doctor was on vacation so I was “squeezed in” to see her associate.
The doctor took all of two and a half minutes to look at my finger and tell me it was swollen. (“Ya, think?” I should have been a doctor cuz I figured that one out right away.) He sent me for an x-ray, which of course came back all clear, nothing cracked, snapped or popped inside. He prescribed a ten-day regime of Ibuprofen therapy for the swelling and told me to come back if didn’t get better.
And then it happened. On my way out of the doctor’s office he, a perfect stranger, years younger than me, said, “Looks like in just a few months you’ll be fifty. Don’t forget to schedule a colonoscopy along with your regular annual physical.”
Fighting the urge to flip him the bird with my not swollen middle finger, I smiled (sort of) and said, “Thank you.” And then I silently added, “Asshole.” Like I needed that little reminder.
I have a swollen finger for no apparent reason, I can’t wear my wedding ring, which upsets my husband who thinks I’m using this as an excuse to pick up guys (like who’s going to want a 50-year-old woman with a swollen purple finger), and for the next few months I get to look forward to my annual exam complete with colonoscopy!
I’m a lucky girl!
And here’s a little tip. It’s funny, short, and includes a very short history lesson. Check it out.
So, how about you? How’s things going in your world? What little “reminders” do you wish you hadn’t gotten?
Word of the day: Ecclesiology
Fun fact about me: Sometimes I can whistle and sometimes I can’t. And it’s always when I really, really want to that it won’t happen.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, July 2013. Photos courtesy Google Images. Video courtesy YouTube.
Ok. I really want to comment on what that stranger said to you about your age and what tests you may or may not be ready to have..,However being in the presence of a word such as Ecclesiology, I feel spiritually nudged to hold back my words. Wow. Just wow.
Hope your finger is better!
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Thanks Colleen for at least thinking along the same evil lines as me. I know he’s a doctor and probably just doing his job (probably), but . . . reminding a woman that she’s 50? Especially a menopausal one? NOT a good idea.
And, the ironic thing, my mom died of colon cancer, so I’m uber-sensitive to the fact that I need to be having colonoscopies on a regular basis. It was the age reminder that got me.
Finger doesn’t seem to want to go down in size. I think I probably did more damage to it by yanking so hard to get my ring off. Probably tore a tendon or ligament or someting. I guess I’m up for a cortizone shot next.
Thanks for stopping by.
Patricia
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Your poor finger! It must be a male doctor thing to make indelicate comments. Mine (also a man) once asked me, “Do you know why you have bags under your eyes?” Me: “Um, ’cause I’m getting old?” Dude. Really? He said, “Actually, it’s due to allergies.” Okay, he saved himself, but he should really work on his bedside manners.
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Holy cow! He said that? Wowzer. Not cool. Not cool at all. Even if it’s allergies, spare us the comments please.
From where I’m sitting you look mah-va-lous. No bags or wrinkles or dark spots.
Thanks for stopping by, CJ.
Patricia
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You are the youngest 50 year old I know so get that colonoscopy so you’ll be a young 90 some day. My insurance would only pay for a signoidoscopy but due to an allergic reaction to my one and only attempt at botox (my throat closed) I had to have a rushed endoscopy. Since I had to be sedated anyway they threw in a colonoscopy special. I wouldn’t be typing this comment today if I hadn’t had the full colonoscopy deal.
PS – you can get that beautiful ring re-sized:-)
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Get the ring re-sized? So now you’re saying I’m fat? What’s the deal? Old and fat?
Actually, I did consider getting the ring enlarged, but there is definitely something wrong with my finger. So I’m going to see what’s up with that first. I think I actually tore something in the joint whilst trying to remove my ring. The knuckle is still painful.
Thanks for stopping by with your kind words. And, yes, I will go have “the procedure” done, especially since my mom died of colon cancer. I will not let that go.
And, I’m so very glad you had “the procedure” done as well. You’re one of the good ones we’d hate to lose.
Patricia
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Hugs, Patricia. I learned about ‘screwing” the ring off when I broke my arm and they wanted my rings off. You might have strained something typing too much. When I was under one of my pressure edits, the knuckles on thethumb side if my pointy finger got a red knob on both of them. Doctor told me it was a tendon. They both turned red and swelled around the knuckle. It is just a thought. And, I am eons older than you and don’t feel old YET. 😉
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Well Paisley, as much as I’d like to attribute it to the writing, I’m pretty sure the real damage was self-inflicted by trying to get the ring off. Lesson learned.
I probably should have just left my ring on, but it was so swollen, my first thought was to get the ring off to relieve some of the pressure.
Anyway, I”m going to use this as an excuse to get a new ring, one with a much bigger diamond. (wink)
Thanks for your sympathy and kind words. It’s always nice to see you here at the Edge of Eternity.
Patricia
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Sorry to hear about your swollen finger. On the bright side, your hubby obviously finds you to be extremely hot or he wouldn’t worry about you wearing your ring. As for the doc…what a douche. Too many of the younger docs these days are sorely lacking in interpersonal skills.
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Aw thanks for your understanding, Kitt. I agree, doctors these days are sometimes clueless about human emotions.
I understand that from his perspective he was doing his job, but sheesh, I don’t need the age reminder thank you very much.
I hope you’re right about my husband. But, he obviously has trust issues. I guess after 10 years there’s still the element of doubt. Good. Keep him on his toes to treat me right, right?
Thanks for stopping by today.
Patricia
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Just so you know…they don’t limit the lack of bedside manner to the “adults”.
I remember having to go to the doctor because I’d lost 13 lbs in less than a month. Normally, not the biggest problem ever…unless you’re 17 and only weighed 110 lbs to begin with. I was experiencing nausea and lack of appetite and general malaise. First words out of the doctor’s mouth?
“Are you pregnant? When’s the last time you had sex?”
My answer…Never. I’m a virgin. (And I was!) He didn’t believe me, though. How do I know? I grew up around hospitals…he said he wanted a urine sample to test for a UTI…but I knew what he was really checking. Thankfully, he also took a blood sample…and it turned out I had a vitamin B-12 deficiency that “caused an unrealized depression”.
Sadly, a year later, when I turned 18, he asked me out. Not. Even. If. He. Paid. Me.
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OMG – Gross, gross, gross!
That my dear is a book ready to be written.
P
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You know… You may be right! I’ll have to put that into my potential file. Thanks for the idea!
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Bummer that the doc offered no clues as to *why* your fingers might be swollen! Hope the swelling goes sown soon. As for the other… I have three years to go on that and in no hurry, though my coworkers tell me it’s not that bad.
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The doctor actually suggested that I might have caused damage from working so hard to get my ring off, but he offered no insight as to why the finger had swelled in the first place.
I’m still thinking the heat, but why just the one finger? And why not my feet or ankles, which usually swell up first? Weird.
The swelling has gone down but not enough for me to get my ring on yet. And it hurts still. I guess I’ll have to give it more time or go get a cortizone shot. Thursday will be exactly 1 month since it happened. Very strange indeed.
There’s always the ring enlarging prospect. Or, perhaps getting an entirely new ring – bigger and sparklier. Naw.
Thanks for stopping by today. Always nice to see your smiling face.
Patricia
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Wow, Patricia, that’s scary. I wonder if you got a bite of some kind, maybe mosquito or wasp, although I think you’d notice a wasp sting. Hope the swelling goes down soon and you can wear your ring again. 🙂
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My husband thought I might have gotten bitten by something, but there’s no bump or broken skin. It feels like there’s a welt way down deep inside my finger. I’m wondering if I didn’t tear a tendon or ligament or something when I was struggling to get my ring off.
Hopefully it’ll be better soon. I’m going to wait another week before I try going back to see my doctor.
Thanks for stopping by with your kind words.
Patricia
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I can so relate, Patricia! Seriously, why is it once you turn 50, people think they can say anything to you? On the other subject, my husband had the same thing happen with his wedding ring. Strangely, his knuckles seem to have swollen and he couldn’t get the ring over the joint. He’s a musician and we’re wondering if his swollen joint has something to do with that.
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Hi Debra. This turning 50 thing doesn’t really bother me, it’s just the fact that people seem to think that something magical happens with your colon at 50 that you should suddenly start having them closely examined my a tiny camera. Why not 48 or 36? What’s special about 50?
And I still cannot get my ring back on. Not sure what’s going on but I guess a visit to the jeweler is in store for me. Maybe there’s a connection between my colon and my knuckles. Who knows?
Thanks for stopping by.
Patricia
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Hope the finger gets better. Could be from typing. What a horrible thought. Or some sort of bite. I was stung by a bee on our vacation last week. I was just sitting there, minding my own business, sipping a beer and finishing up a chapter I’m struggling with. When all of a sudden I felt a stabbing pain in my middle finger. I screamed, and my husband finally came over to see what was going on. He pulled the stinger out, I poured beer on it (he offered to pee on it, no thanks.) and my son got me some ice. I took a Benadryl (with the IPA I was feeling groovy) and continued to breathe.
It wasn’t until the next day that the swelling started. I took my ring off and put it on my other hand, which was a good thing because that finger started to swell too. And itch. On the inside. It’s finally almost back to normal after a week. It was hard to type with an ice pack.
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Hi Kristina.
I’m pretty sure I did not get stung or bit, but even if I did the swelling should have gone away by now. Thursday will be 1 month exactly. I’m pretty sure I messed something up when I was trying to get my ring off. Probably tore a tendon or something.
I’ve decided to give it another couple of weeks and see what happens. There’s always the cortizone shot. Or ring enlargement. Neither sounds good to me.
Thanks for stopping by.
Patricia
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Wow, you use your hands a fingers for EVERYTHING….what a PAIN!!! I really have NO advice, but be patient….. it is bound to get better…..and you can take advantage of it and avoid heavy chores due to your injury!!
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Oh now I never thought of this from that angle before. Shoot. I wish I’d have consulted with you earlier. I could have avoided a lot of chores.
Well, at least it won’t keep me from zumba, right?
Thanks for your support, Kay. Good to see you.
Patricia
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