Fun With Spam

March 23, 2015 by jansenschmidt

Photo courtesy Google Images

Today folks, I’m taking you on a little journey through my e-mail Spam inbox. I’ve taken the partial headings below, in the exact order they appeared in my spam folder, and created some sentences that might make for a very interesting novel. Let me know what you think.

1. No games – several local businesses are looking for – wild cougars looking for horny men – let the madness begin!

2. If you are not interested in – rapid wrinkle reduction and prevention – why get married?

3. There’s a secret the legal recruiting industry is keeping – we’re bringing the heat about quick painless toenail fungus.

4. I want to show you something on my webcam – when divorce isn’t an option – take control of your alcohol problem with – free coupons for oil change.

5. Now’s the time to become a nurse – we need men that – will kill us if we don’t help – two Russian hotties looking for you.

6. Pretty women are sharing topless pictures of – a bizarre but safe way to eliminate.

Photo courtesy Google Images

I don’t know about you, but that last one sure sounds like a photo I’d be better off not seeing. But, I did find this photo that could certainly constitute a “bizarre way to eliminate,” however, I’m not sure how “safe” it would be.

7. Here’s an easy reason not to get married – we have the cash you need – up to $10,000 – all real, all beautiful, all yours.

8. Looking for love? – Don’t ignore this – these women will do anything for – lowest prices on digital TV and more.

9. Unleash your naughty side – no exam required – lucky you!

No exam required to unleash my naughty side? Well sign me up. All these years I’ve been thinking there was going to be a test so I’ve been avoiding anything naughty. Well, not any more my friends. Naughty side – here I come!

Photo courtesy Google Images

What interesting stuff have you encountered in your spam box? I’d love to see some creative sentences from your own private spam folders.

Word of the day: Eisteddfod

Fun fact about me: I empty my spam folder every day.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, March 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

Posted in April, authors, beauty products, blogging, dieting, drinks, Family, Fiction, food, friends, humor, Jansen Schmidt, resolutions, romance, short story, words, writers, writing | Tagged alcohol, alcohol problem, cash, cougars, divorce, kill, men, naughty, nurse, oil change, Russian hotties, Spam, toenail fungus, topless, topless pictures, webcam, wrinkle reduction | 10 Comments

10 Responses

on March 23, 2015 at 9:15 am | Reply cjburright

What chaps my hide the most are those invitations to senior living…really? REALLY? 40 is not the new 70.

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- on March 23, 2015 at 9:51 am | Reply jansenschmidt
  
  I’ve never gotten one of those. I get the sex invitations and the male enhancement products. Fun stuff like that.
  
  And you are so right – 40 is NOT the new 70.
  
  Thanks for stopping by today YOUNG lady. Have a great week.
  
  Patricia
  
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on March 23, 2015 at 2:20 pm | Reply Sheila Seabrook

LOL, Patricia. I don’t even read the spam email anymore. Delete, delete, delete. 🙂 I’m now also receiving spam phone calls on my home phone and my cell. They’re attempting to fool me into thinking they’re local calls by using numbers that indicate they’re calling from a local number. Snort! If I don’t recognize the number, the calls go straight to voice mail, then delete. 🙂

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- on March 23, 2015 at 3:03 pm | Reply jansenschmidt
  
  I had my first spam text the other day. I was like, “what the heck?” It was weird. Yup, straight to the delete button.
  
  I do have fun with my spam folder though. Some of the captions are hilarious and when cut and pasted just so, you get a really fun blog post.
  
  Thanks for stopping by today. Always nice to see your sunny smile.
  
  Patricia
  
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on March 23, 2015 at 4:31 pm | Reply Jennette Marie Powell

I hardly ever check my Yahoo Mail spam folder, and heck, I don’t even have to combine sentences! Here’s one I found: “Your 2 unread messages will be deleted in a few days vagina.” LOL!

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- on March 24, 2015 at 9:36 am | Reply jansenschmidt
  
  You see, Jennette, Spam can be entertaining!
  
  Thanks for playing along. Have a great week!
  
  Patricia
  
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on March 24, 2015 at 6:19 am | Reply Coleen Patrick

I forget to check my spam, but some get by the filter and lately they’ve been rambling, strange (always strange) requests for friendship/relationships.
And I think I’d enjoy Eisteddfod. Always like a festival! Hope you’re having a good week!

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- on March 24, 2015 at 9:37 am | Reply jansenschmidt
  
  Hi Coleen and thanks for stopping by. Eisteddfod does sound like a good idea. It might be a nice way to avoid “hooking up,” with strangers we might meet via spam.
  
  You have a great week as well my friend.
  
  Patricia
  
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on March 31, 2015 at 3:47 pm | Reply The Regular Guy NYC

LOL! I love getting these weirdo spam messages in my blog too. Some make no real sense! They make for great blog fodder.

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- on March 31, 2015 at 3:57 pm | Reply jansenschmidt
  
  They do indeed make for some awesome blog posts.
  
  Patricia
  
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