Image courtesy Google Images
As a lot of you know, I worked in the legal profession in California for, many, many years. Thirty to be exact. Thirty very long years. A good chunk of those years I worked in the family law arena. Yes, that is as horrible exciting as it sounds.
Photo courtesy Google Images.
Sure, I’m a little jaded smarter because of it (who wouldn’t be?) but I’m also a better person. And, because I’m a giver, I’m going to pass some of that wisdom on to you, my loyal and faithful tribe.
You’re welcome.
First of all: if you just recently split up with your spouse, it’s NOT a good idea to bring your new “sweetheart” to your first appointment with your divorce lawyer. Yeah, don’t do that. You just look like a cheating fool and I don’t have one iota of sympathy for you.
Photo courtesy Google Images.
Second, if you met your current spouse when he or she was married to someone else, then they divorced and married you, but now they are cheating on you – don’t cry about it. You knew they were unfaithful when you met them. What makes you think they’re going to be faithful to you? That makes you an idiot as far as I’m concerned and I don’t have one iota of sympathy for you.
Third, if you fall into one of these categories – stop your sniveling. I call it as I see it and so should you. Sure, love is blind and all of that (bleh), but divorce is eye-opening. And expensive. Use your noggin people and save yourself a few hundred thousand dollars down the road.
Photo courtesy Google Images
And men, if you’re dating a woman who has 3 kids from 3 different fathers, please, please, wear a condom. Every single time. Because, chances are . . . . Just saying. And, yes, she is most likely living off of support from those other poor suckers men and therefore not interested in getting a job. Which means that you will be contributing to her “stay-at-home-mom,” status. After all, someone has to stay home with those illegitimate brats. You very likely might have to get that second job. And, no, I don’t have one iota of sympathy for you. Did you not even consider that this might happen to you?
That last one, applies to women as well. If your new man is paying child support to more than one woman, well, first of all, that’s less money in his pocket for you, and second, if you eventually have a child with this man, that’s less money in your pocket for that baby. Just saying. No, I don’t have one iota of sympathy for you either. Did you not think that maybe he might be a – oh, I don’t know – a player, a use ’em and lose ’em kind of guy? Think about it.
Photo courtesy Google Images
I think you can all see a trend here. I pretty much don’t have any iotas of sympathy for these losers. Not that everyone getting divorced is a sex-starved loser with illegitimate children, but if you find yourself suddenly a single person jumping back into the dating pool: start at the shallow end and wade in before submersing yourself completely. Slow down. Being single is not the trauma you think it is. Think. Do your research. Do the math. Ask the hard questions.
Photo courtesy Google Images
That is all for now. If anyone needs more post-divorce dating advice, feel free to contact me. My fee is considerably less than an attorney’s average hourly rate. But, I caution you to contact me BEFORE saying “I do.”
Image courtesy Google Images
What advice do you have for divorced daters? Have any funny experiences to add to this list? I love a good should-have-known-better tale.
Word of the Day: Wampum
Fun fact about me: I love to shop from catalogs.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, January 2016. Photos and images courtesy Google.
jansenschmidt 
I don’t know anything about it, thank the Lord!
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Good and please keep it that way!
Thanks for stopping by.
Patrcia
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I’m forwarding this to all my grand kids – and my son.
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Ha ha ha ha ha. I hope they realize that a lot of this is from the jaded, I’ve-had-enough-of-this-crap perspective of a former paralegal. So much of it is true and I am finally at liberty to express my sarcastic comments without fear of being fired. How many times did I think these things while sitting at my desk in my former office.
Thanks for stopping by Katie and have a great week.
Patricia
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Hahaha! You’re so right on the money, Patricia! I’ve seen every single one of those situations, and I’ve come to the conclusion that people either never learn or they blindly adopt the attitude of “He’s changed. He’d never do that to me.” Dumbass. Also, getting pregnant to coerce a decent guy into marrying you generally doesn’t wind up with a happily ever after, and sometimes a prenup is a really, really good idea.
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Right? He’s changed? Really? He’s a new man? Give me a break. My tongue is so callused from biting it the past few years.
And the pregnant finance scenario? Yeah, don’t go there either.
I knew you’d understand this post more than a lot of folks might.
Have a great week.
Patricia
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Thankfully, I have no experience here. Though I am waiting to see which of these bites a family member in the tush, because he’s back to dating the woman who cost him tens of thousands of $$ to divorce, much to the disgust of everyone in our family…
I have little sympathy for people who refuse to learn from their mistakes, and give you props for keeping your mouth shut for so many years!
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Aye, aye, aye. I’m shaking my head. Some people don’t learn, even the hard way. Before I left my former job, we had the same client come in for a consultation for the 3rd time. That’s right, in the 10 years that I worked for this attorney, the same guy married and divorced 3 times. It wasn’t from the same woman, but seriously?
We had another client who divorced her second husband so she could re-marry her first.
What is wrong with people?
And one other guy, divorced his wife and managed to get full custody of their 5 children. I later learned that he was having an affair with a woman who also has 5 children. They are now married and raising 10 children. I had my own private bet as to how long that situation was going to last.
Oh, I have to stop with the stories. I’m saving them up for future books.
Thanks for stopping by and I wish your family member luck.
Patricia
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