I need a lesson in Facebook etiquette.
I mean, think about it, anybody can join Facebook but when you sign up you aren’t handed a list of rules or an instruction manual or anything. So how does one know, besides the obvious common sense stuff like pornography, copyright infringement, bullying, etc., what is appropriate FB behavior and what is not? People post whatever the hell they want whether others wish to see it or not; freedom of speech and press and whatnot. I know you can unfriend and unlike and hide posts and all, but once you’ve seen the post, you can’t unsee it. But that’s not what I’m talking about.
Let me explain.
Recently I decided that I haven’t been giving my FB author page enough love, so I decided to spend a little more time over there. I try to be upbeat and positive and not offend anyone when I post on that particular page. Nothing religious, political, offensive, snarky – well maybe snarky – but you get it. Anyway, I decided to reach out to some of my FB “friends” who haven’t yet “liked” my author page. So, I sent out invitations to “like” my page. That’s appropriate right? There were a lot of names on my “friends” list to invite; some of them, honestly, I didn’t even recognize. I guess at some point those folks requested to be my friend and I accepted.
Anyhoo, most people either ignored the invite, didn’t see the invite, or “liked” my page. Good right? Well, apparently not for everyone. Here’s one of the responses I got back: “Please don’t invite me to like your page when you haven’t been to mine.”
Excuse me?
First of all, I’ve never even heard of this person, other than their name appearing on my “friends” list. I’ve never seen any posts on any social media platform from this person. I guess at some point, SHE must have come across me and requested that I be her friend, because I never send “friend” requests to people I haven’t seen somewhere else before. NEVER. Assuming she sent the “friend” request (and she did), I must have done some snooping around and deemed her an appropriate “friend”, because she is on my current list of “friends.” I usually only “friend” people I’ve “seen around” in cyber world, met in person, was recommended to find by someone I trust, or owns a reputable business. That’s pretty much it.
Second, why did she make the assumption I “haven’t been to” her page? Maybe I did visit and I chose NOT to “like” it. See, this is where that rule book would come in handy. Am I obligated to “like” a page just because I visited it? What if I truly don’t like her page? What if I don’t like what she posts or what she stands for? Why in God’s name would I “like” that?
Which brings up another point where I must defer to the rule book. Is it a requirement that people reciprocate in kind? I mean, just because someone “likes” my page, does that mean I HAVE to like their page?
Third, why do I have to “like” her page FIRST? I mean, can’t she “like” me and then I “like” her back? I guess if the world really does revolve around her, that logic would make sense, but seriously? Someone has to be the first to “like” right? And, let me restate that SHE originally sought me out, not the other way around. Shouldn’t she, in theory, “like” me first?
Fourth, did she ever invite me to “like” her page? I’m pretty sure if she had, I would have hit the “like” button, after all, I did choose to “friend” her. Why would I “friend” her but not “like” her? Seriously, who “friends” someone they don’t like?
Fifth, which ties in to number four above, perhaps I didn’t even know she had a page. Why not “like” me FIRST then encourage me to “like” her page in return. I’m pretty certain, I’d have hit that “like” button. See how simple that would have been? Now, after her in-your-face, egotistic, narcissistic (is that the same thing?) comment, I’m not so inclined to “like” anything about her or her page. Just saying.
It’s all so terribly confusing sometimes. What’s your opinion of the whole “friending,” “liking” business on Facebook? Has it ever confused you? How do you decide when to hit the button and become friends with a complete stranger? Do you accept invitations to “like” pages? Do you have “friends” but choose not to “like” their pages?
Word of the Day: Chiropodist
Fun Fact about Me: I gained a whole bunch of new “likes” on my FB author page in the past couple of days. Yay! (That’s good right?)
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, September 2016. Images courtesy Google Images.
jansenschmidt 
I don’t recall receiving your invitation to like your page. Which doesn’t mean you didn’t send it. Some days I don’t remember what I ate for breakfast.
I’ll try to find it and like it – and you don’t have to like mine. It’s not quid pro quo.
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Dave, if you invite me, I will come (probably). I’m not sure who I sent the invite to and who I didn’t, I just started clicking buttons on all of the people on my “friends” list. I’m pretty sure you’re my friend. Maybe I missed you.
Anyway, it’s not big deal really, I’m just trying to be more proficient on FB because, hopefully, very soon, I’ll have a book coming out and I really want to utilize my “fan” page for those types of announcements and such.
Thanks for stopping by and politely and succinctly leaving a comment. Have a great Labor Day!
Patricia
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Sorry, Dave. I forgot to post this for your earlier.
Chiropodist: (ki-rop-uh-dist)
noun – a podiatrist.
1785, from chiro- “hand” + pod-, stem of Greek pous “foot” (see foot (n.)) + -ist. Probably coined by Canadian-born U.S. healer Daniel Palmer (1845-1913); originally they treated both hands and feet. A much-maligned word among classicists, who point out it could mean “having chapped feet” but probably doesn’t, and in that case it is an etymological garble and no one can say for sure what it is meant to signify. Related: Chiropody.
Patricia
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I have the same questions about likes and comments…. And follows. It is a delicate balance between appropriate and awkward. The response you got was out of line – quid pro quo? I say NO! I try to follow and read what I can – but honestly sometimes time is not mine and I can’t read a post at all. When I do click and read a post – I ‘like’ and leave a comment, but sometimes I have to come back later to leave the comment because I didn’t have time. But, like its never a quid pro quo. Hope the season change brings cooler weather and sunshine! Take care.
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Exactly. I see it as a give and take thing. I’ll gladly help you promote your page and product (if I like it) but I don’t expect that you’ll just automatically do that for me. It’s certainly nice when those types of deeds are reciprocated, but it’s not always possible.
I hope that you enjoy the change of seasons as well my friend. I’m going to miss your pictures of the lake, but I’m also looking forward to the ones for next year. Happy Labor Day!
Patricia
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Wait…have I liked your page?!? 🙂 Facebook often cracks me up, and not always in a good way. I think the fact that people aren’t in the same room gives them the sense of freedom to say whatever they want. And there’s no obligation to like anything. I don’t hit the like button all the time. I don’t like everyone’s page. I don’t accept all friend requests from creepy guys I’ve never met. I don’t keep track of who has liked me or not liked me or unfriended me because it’s their choice. I think Facebook makes some people crazy, and even if there was a rule book, not everyone would follow it, right?
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I think you probably did like my page, but I’m okay if you didn’t. Besides, it’s never too late to like me. After all, what’s not to like?
I know what you mean about hitting the accept friend button. I fairly frequently get those ‘single guy with no mutual friend’ requests to be my friend as well. Like, yeah, let me jump all over that friend request. I’m sure we have so much in common and you’re not a creepy freak from hell about to embark on a stalking campaign, you just like what I post and pictures of cute dogs and stuff. Riiiigggghhhhttttt.
So, anyway, I’m just going to keep keeping on and you do the same. Have a fantastic Labor Day and wind down of summer. Is it cooling off over there on the northwest coast?
Patricia
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Facebook is a minefield of good and bad. The good is obvious. But there are a lot of cliques where people do the reciprocating thing you’re talking about. It also brings out the exclusivity in people. “You’re on my list of friends. You’re not.” Sometimes savvy people won’t “Like” or comment on something, so the post doesn’t stay in the feed. Weird. I’m a born cheerleader, so I can’t relate.
Send me your invitation. I’d be happy to “like” it. If I don’t know the person, I usually don’t “like” their page.
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Hm, seems to me that sort of defeats the purpose of building a fan base right? Anyway, it’s no matter, I’ve got the kind of personality that’s going to find another way if one way fails. If someone doesn’t want to like my page, that’s fine, I’ll find fans elsewhere.
YOU, my friend, are definitely a cheerleader and I like that about you. We’re all in this thing called life together so we might as well help each other out right. No one’s getting out alive.
And, you already like my page. See how cool you are?
Thanks for stopping by. Have a great rest of the week.
Patricia
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I agree with Susie about FB being a minefield of good and bad. FB is actually my least favorite social media. Maybe i just never figured out how to use it–or i just spend too much time on instagram (probably!) but I mostly use it as a tool to be a part of groups. But I do like most pages when asked–I don’t have one of my own tho. Your experience reminds me how FB often feels a lot like high school. Blech. I don’t get why that person responded like that! What a missed opportunity for them. Also, I keep thinking about the phrase, you get more bees with honey. But i guess not everyone gets that.
I have heard of chiropodist, but after reading your post, i keep reading it as Cheer up-odist. 🙂 Hope you have a happy week, Patricia!
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I never thought of it that way, Coleen, but FB is a lot like high school. Weird. It certainly has a way of bringing out the “best” in people. Because there’s not personal face-to-face contact, people feel empowered to say whatever they want. That should be their new catchphrase: “Join FB – we make whimps brave.”
Thanks for stopping by today. I hope things are going well in your doodling world. Are you still sketching, too? I miss seeing your drawings.
Patricia
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This is why I don’t like Facebook. I mostly go there for groups. I occasionally “Like” pages, but I haven’t “Liked” a post since I read an article saying that’s how FB figures out what ads to show you – and if you don’t “Like” anything, you get fewer ads in your newsfeed. And it works! If I haven’t Liked your page, it’s because I didn’t know you have one. (And if you invited me this weekend, I didn’t respond because I haven’t been on FB in a while).
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Jennette, I’m pretty sure you already like my author page and thank you for that. I did notice also that the fewer times I hit the like button, the fewer ads I see in my feed. Sometimes its easy and fast to just scroll along and hit “like” so your friends and followers know you saw their post, but the ads do get annoying.
FB is excellent because its so far reaching, but that can be a two-edged sword as we all know. As an author and business owner, its a nice place to put those little selling points and hope it drives people to your site or book or blog or whatever, but you have to be careful not to clog up all your feed with me, me, me stuff, too. It’s a fine balance to obtain. Plus sometimes it’s just fun to see what people are doing.
I’m glad most of my true friends understand and behave appropriately in cyber world.
Thanks for stopping by today and good luck with finishing up that kitchen remodel.
Patricia
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