I know, I know, being your own cheerleader is hard. That’s why we have friends and support groups and such. But, sometimes, only YOU can talk yourself off the ledge.
Last week I ventured down a path I rarely travel and there’s a reason for that; it’s the road of disappointment and discouragement. Usually I keep the gate shut on that life exit, but sometimes the wind blows it open and that little bastard demon living inside me wants to go exploring. Damn that little demon!
Oh, I eventually found my way back to the high road, but I must confess, I puttered on the other path for awhile. I don’t know if it’s the end of summer blah’s or what, but I had a few hard days, especially where my writing career is concerned. It seems like I’ve been at this for a really long time but I’m not really going anywhere. It’s sort of like riding the ferris wheel over and over again. It has it’s high and it has it lows but the scenery never changes.
So, what’s wrong, you ask? Mostly, it’s my own self-doubt taunting me into believing that I’m never going to be good enough or that nobody’s going to like what I write.
It started after a few days of not wanting to sit down and write, was followed by a huge let down on pitch madness day on Twitter, and culminated when I decided to take a break from my current WIP (work in progress) to start editing an older manuscript, only to discover that it’s not very good at all. In fact, it pretty much sucks. It needs lots of work. I’m not a huge fan of editing.
But, edit I must, and edit I will, because, gosh darn it, I really like writing and I would love to see my name on the cover of a freaking book. And, I am NOT a quitter. I have too much time and money invested to give up now.
So, I guess what today’s post is really all about is me whining a little and you guys making me feel better. It’s a shameless attempt to garner encouragement. I’m not particularly proud of that, but hey, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
Since I left California, I’ve missed the camaraderie I shared with my fellow romance writers at SVR (Sacramento Valley Romance writers) and it left a crack in my encouragement well that only I can fix at this point in my life. I’m going to travel to Jackson this weekend for a meeting of Mississippian writers and am hoping I can find a new place to hang out with like-minded people who can sympathize with my “pain.” Keep your fingers crossed for me.
So, anyway, enough about that. I’m done crying on your shoulders now. Thanks for humoring me. I’ve gotten that out of my system and I’m back safely on the road of positivity. That doesn’t mean there won’t be road blocks, but I’m prepared to meet them head on. And the next time I see that little wicked gate open, I shall promptly close it, maybe even invest in a lock. And, I shall ignore that little bastard demon in my head.
How do you overcome disappointment and discouragement? Do you have a support system in place to help you through low times? Have you ever thought about quitting something?
Word of the day: Deontology
Fun fact about me: I always wanted to be a cheerleader but my parents wouldn’t let me.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, September 2016. Photographic images courtesy Google Images.
Don’t you dare ever give up, Patricia. Remember it took 22 years for me to get a contract. Dreams are important and DO come true. (please check your emails as I sent one for an address… YEP I am ready to send)
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No – I’m not giving up – I’m just discouraged. Some days it’s so hard to sit here and put words on a page when I doubt anyone will ever even read them. Then other days, I think, “Wow, this is pretty good.” It’s a vicious cycle.
Thanks for your encouragement. I know you walked the road for a long while before good things happened.
And, yes, I did get your e-mail. I responded. I’m looking forward to getting the quilt.
Have an awesome week!
Patricia
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You didn’t put address in email. 😦
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Doi:
1117 Grove Street, Vicksburg, MS 39183.
Patricia
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Thank you – I will let you know when to expect it. 🙂
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I’ve thought about quitting many times. The last time, I stopped writing and was focusing only on submissions and contests, spending a lot of time coordinating the latter for two RWA chapters and enjoying my (then) new car. After 50 rejections, I had pretty much decided I was writing only for me, if I wrote at all–then self publishing took off and it was a total no-brainer for me. Not because it was the option of last resort (it’s not), but because it meant there was a place for my niche work that just didn’t quite fit anywhere else. There have been disappointments since then, but I’ve never considered quitting. I think what’s the most disheartening about traditional publishing is it’s all out of our control.
You’ve also had tons on your plate with a cross-country move, and taking on a successful, new business! So cut yourself some slack there, too–you’ve accomplished a ton this past year!
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Ah, thanks Jennette. These are the things I need to be reminded of.
And, it’s wasn’t all bad. I did get a late “favorite” from an editor at Harlequin on one of my pitches so, I’m kind of excited about that. Now I just have to get that stuff off to her and practice my patience while I wait for my response.
Thanks so much for the encouragement. It’s what I need right how. You’re the best.
Patricia
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I’ve quit three times, Patricia. I wrote 6 novels in the early 90’s but after unsuccessfully trying to find an agent, I put them aside and forgot about them. As I learned a bit about novel writing, I realized they were not good enough to publish anyhow.
A few years later, I joined a traditional critique group and tried to resurrect one of the old novels. After a year or so, I gave up again.
A decade later I joined another group, which some of us changed to fit the needs of novel writers much better than the old critique groups. I got excited again until some of the feedback I got discouraged me once more.
I had decided to give up writing until Jillian Dodd, who has since become a very successful YA author, sat me down one Saturday morning and spent a couple of hours encouraging me to write and to self-publish through Create Space, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon. Since that time I’ve published nine books and am about to get my 10th on the market.
Do these books sell? No, but it’s not about the writing. Everybody who has read any of them is very positive. It’s my inability to promote that inhibits sales. I doubt if I’ll ever sell many books, because I really don’t know how (or have the energy) to promote them effectively.
If I were your age, I’d probably do everything in my power to learn to promote my books, hoping to support myself from the royalties. At my age, however, I write for my own pleasure. If people buy my books, great, but if they don’t, I’m living okay anyhow.
I’ve rambled long enough, and if I haven’t addressed your concerns, I’m sorry. Main thing is, don’t get discouraged. Don’t quit like I did. And NEVER let anyone else tell you you or your work is not good enough.
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Thanks David. I appreciate your story. I know many folks have been in the same position. I guess it just comes with the territory.
No, I’m not giving up (as my FB post last night indicated). I just go through these weird funky spells and I feel so alone since I’ve moved to Mississippi. In California I had my writing group to go to once a month, which always cheered me up and energized me.
I’m not going to quit. I know my stuff isn’t as bad as I make it out to be. I just need to find that one person willing to take a chance. And I’m exploring self-publishing as well. I’ve been learning a lot about marketing and I feel pretty confident that I know how to at least make an attempt to sell books.
Hang in there yourself and keep writing if that’s what you like to do. I’ll do the same.
Thanks for the feedback and encouragement. That’s what this crazy game of life is all about right?
Patricia
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Chin up, girl! I know that, as a writer, I’ve been in your shoes more than a few times. Writing is hard and often unappreciated work, but persistence, persistence, persistence!! I’ve learned to never, ever compare my own writing journey to someone else, even when I feel like everyone else around me is moving forward and I’m slowly sliding backward. It’s your own unique journey, right? And no matter what, we don’t choose to be writers, we just are. When you feel discouraged, reflect on why you write. For me, the simple process of writing a story makes me freakin’ happy, and even if no one else ever liked my stories, I’d still do it. ❤
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I know. I know. I keep telling myself that and most of the time that’s enough, but some days – eeekkk, arrgggghhh. I’ve rebounded since I wrote this post. In fact I did get a piece of good news from the pitch madness craziness on Twitter (I guess you saw my FB post about that), so there’s hope still.
And, I’ve been doing a lot of reading and watching videos about self-publishing and marketing and using social media to boost sales, etc. I feel like I’m sort of starting to understand how all that is supposed to work.
I’m not giving up. I just feel so alone sometimes. It’s nice to know there are folks out there pulling for me.
Thanks for the encouragement. Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Patricia
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I think most writers go through times like this. Seems to be part of the journey. Glad you’ve been able to shake that funk since you posted. How did it go with the Mississippi writers group? I hope you made some new connections and can meet with other writers like you did in California. It really is helpful to be around other writers, both in person and online. Good luck with the marketing. I need to start working on that, too!
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Hi Lynn. Yes, I’m over the funk. Sometimes it’s just so hard to keep your chin up in this lonely business. Especially when you live with someone who doesn’t understand the process.
The writer’s group here, changed their meeting from last weekend to this one, so I’ll keep you posted on that. Some kind of scheduling conflict with the speaker. I’m excited to meet some other writers.
Thanks for visiting and for your encouragement.
Patricia
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My dear Patricia–you KNOW I get exactly where you’re coming from. Wish we lived closer (instead of both moving further away!) so we could have coffee or lunch a few times a week to encourage, commiserate, and motivate! So glad that you’re moving out of the doldrums and back to a positive place. Many of your blog readers haven’t read your work, but I HAVE, and it’s absolutely destined for publication, however you ultimately decide to do that. I’m looking forward to adding your books to my Kindle collection! Mwah!
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Oh – thanks so much. I appreciate those kind words. I’m not giving up, I just needed to whine a little bit. Sometimes that release is all I need to get moving again. I’m not a wallower, as you should know.
I wished we lived closer as well, but for now, we’re both exactly where we need to be. I’ll find my support group here and I always have my dear friends like you when I need them.
Thanks for visiting and encouraging. We’ll see each other again soon. One of these days.
Patricia
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