Firsts and Lasts – Part Two

Two or three or fourteen weeks ago, I posted some opening and closing sentences from my manuscript entitled On Hallowed Ground. That book is the second in a series (the Grounded series) that has been professionally edited and is nearing its final phase of production before presentation to the world. Stay tuned for more info on that.

While that sits on the back burner for a little while, I’ve been editing away on my second project for publication. It was in worse shape than I remembered, but it’s coming along. It shall go to my personal professional editor (and the publisher who requested it) shortly. Stay tuned for more info on that (and while you’re at it, keep your fingers crossed).

Below are the opening and closing sentences from the first six chapters of that book, currently titled, On Common Ground. This book is intended to be the first book in the Grounded series. I know, that’s kind of backwards, but the second book was in better shape that the first so I started with it. The third book isn’t finished yet, but promises to be pretty good. Yes, stay tuned for more info on that as well.

Keeping readers interested right from the get-go is the most important part of ensuring those readers will be willing to invest in future books. Finding the right hooks to light that fire is essential.

Because I value the opinions of my readers and followers, I’m asking again for your indulgence. Please let me know in the comments below if anything about these six groups of first and last sentences sparks your interest or turns you off. Please be honest, as that’s the only way I’ll know how and where to improve. You can criticize. I can take it.

Without further ado, let the suspense begin:

First – There are always consequences when you kill a man—no matter what the circumstances—no matter who the man.

Last – Trevor suspected that he’d inadvertently slid down the slippery slope leading toward eternal damnation.

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First – With a million thoughts colliding in Trevor’s brain, he backtracked toward the adjoining corral.

Last – “Only if I have to be rescuing her all the time.”

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First – She could barely even breathe.

Last – Her humiliation complete, she clamped her molars together and swallowed the impulse to cry.

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First – Rocky looped an arm around Trevor’s shoulders and steered him away from the big barn and the little woman sprawled on the ground.

Last – He pressed the palms of his hands into his eye lids and tried to calm the unease settling in his mid-section.

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First – Trevor rubbed the back of his neck. (Yeah, how exciting is this?)

Last – The last thing he needed was another hornet’s nest to explode, especially one involving an incredibly beautiful, deeply wounded woman who called to him like a mythical Siren from the deep blue sea. (Yeah, I know, I know . . . adverbs, blah, blah, blah.)

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First – “Why the hell was FBI even there that night?”

Last – “I’m pretty certain I won’t be able to do that.”

So there you have it, round two of opening and closing sentences. Now get to work with your thoughts.

Word of the Day: Ozocerite

Fun fact about me: I’m one of those weirdo’s who loves to read description in books.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, November 2016. Photos courtesy Google Images.