Lately I’ve noticed a super large increase in the amount of unsolicited phone calls on both my home (the inn) phone and my cell phone. Despite being on all of the “do not call” lists, auto rejecting, and blocking unwanted numbers every – single – time, I continue to get annoying phone calls from telemarketers. All day long.
Used to be you could recognize these numbers because the caller id screen would say something like “unknown caller” or show an 800 number or something. Nowadays these calls come in from my local area code so . . . I think it’s someone trying to reach the inn for legitimate inn business. Therefore, I answer. Sucker.
I’m not just talking those stupid automated calls either, you know those calls that say something like, “lower your energy bills now,” or “this is our final attempt to contact you about your student loan,” or whatever. Those you can just hang up and go about your business – after you’ve nearly broken your neck racing down the stairs or down the hallway to grab the phone.
No, I mean honest-to-goodness real people just making random cold calls to try to sell me something. Who takes these jobs? All day long calling stranger after stranger trying to sell them something they don’t want. Who. Does. This?
Seriously people, why in heaven’s name would you think I’m looking for a new credit card processing service? Is the universe sending out some kind of weird energy that goes orbiting around at the speed of light until it lands upon your person, thereby triggering your grubby little fingers to punch the digits that will connect you to me? That’s how I feel. Do you think I’m too lame to find a good credit card processing company on my own if I’m interested? Cuz, I’m not. And, believe me, I’ve already investigated just about every service available to me already, so don’t try to sell me on the idea that you can lower my energy bill or get me a better interest rate. Why would I even believe you, a total stranger who has interrupted my very busy day for no reason other than to annoy me?
And, do NOT offer me an all-expenses paid vacation anywhere for any reason. I. Am. Not. Interested. When I’m ready to vacation, I’ll decide when, where and how I’ll accomplish it. If I need help, I know who to ask. It won’t be a random phone salesman, that’s a darn sure bet.
Does anybody EVER talk to these people?
One automated message I receive – like daily – says something along the lines of, “This will be my final attempt to reach you.” To which I reply, “Thank the good Lord above.” And yet the next day – “This will be my final attempt to reach you.” You said that yesterday. L-I-A-R!!!! I scream into the phone.
I mean really – can you even imagine anybody doing this when a telemarketer calls?
Oh, they try to be sneaky, thinking they’re really being clever, asking things like, “may I speak to the manager, please?” Yeah, like that’s going to happen. Or, “I’m returning a call from the owner.” Really? What’s the owner’s name and when did they call you? I like to try to trip them up with questions like, “which owner?” or “You mean Donna or Jimbo?”
Sometimes I say, “hang on a minute,” and just set the phone down while I continue to wash dishes or make beds or whatever. Hey, that’s only fair right? Eventually the phone will make that beep, beep, beep, beep sound before it goes dead. Then I know it’s time to hang it back up. Until the next one.
What say you dear readers, have you ever talked to these clowns? Ever bought into their sales pitches? Any awesome ideas for beating them at their own game? I’d love to know how you handle these nuisances.
Word of the day: Elenchus
Fun fact about me: I love looking up new words of the day.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, March 2017. Photos courtesy Google Images.