So, I’ve hired help here at the inn. The workload was getting to be too much for a single person to handle. I thought this situation would free up some time for me to get back into the habit of writing. I thought that. I really did.
You see, now that people know I have “free time” they pester me to do all kinds of things for them. I usually comply, for the simple reason that if I just do it, they’ll eventually leave me alone and I’ll have some time to myself. I thought that. I really did. Turns out, the more I give, the more they take and the more they expect.
Nobody understands that I have things to do, too. Writing is important to me, but it ALWAYS gets backburnered for everyone else. Every single time. People know how to guilt me into doing things.
Enough people. When is it my time?
I believe in the law of attraction. I believe that people are magnets and we draw to us the things we want and need in our lives. Yet, my magnet doesn’t seem to be working because I think about my stories, my writing and publishing books all the time, yet . . . it hasn’t happened. It’s very frustrating.
It’s very hard to make people understand that, while I appear to be sitting here doing “nothing,” I’m actually doing a lot. And, yes, I’ve finished the book(s), I’ve edited it, I’ve had other people read it, I’ve edited it some more, I’ve entered it in contests, I’ve edited it some more, and NO it still isn’t right. I’m not being too picky – I know in my heart it’s not right yet. I’ll eventually get it figured out and it will be right and ready, but in the meantime, just trust me when I say, it’s not ready yet and leave me the hell alone while I try to get it all worked out.
Okay, rant over.
I’m not a lazy person. I’m a self-starter. I’m good at prioritizing. I’m disciplined. What I’m bad at, is saying “no.”
So, my goal for the next few weeks, is to make myself a priority and practice saying “no” to other people. Wish me luck.
Here’s some motivation that helped me come to this conclusion. I hope you’ll find something to take away from this video as well.
How about you readers: do you have a hard time saying no? Do you often put everyone else’s needs before your own? How to you balance your time with everyone else’s demands? I’d love some suggestions.
Word of the day: Isagogic
Fun fact about me: I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to mosquitoes. I have lumps the size of golf balls on my legs from the bites.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, April 2017. Video courtesy YouTube. Photos courtesy Google Images.
jansenschmidt 
I sometimes have trouble telling people no, and most people don’t seem to understand that when you’re writing, the distractions can so easily derail you. I’ve learned, though, that you have to treat your writing like a career. You have to take your time, no apologies, no guilt. Life will always happen, and if you don’t make writing a priority, it will always be put on the back burner. So go write, girl, and tell people they’re just gonna have to wait their turn!
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Oh my gosh, yes about the distractions. Especially as I get older, it seems like any little thing that upsets my flow is even harder to smooth out. I often forget what I was saying, or doing, or where I was going with my train of thought. I hate that, especially if my train is headed in a really juicy direction then hits a roadblock (interruption). I usually have to restart the journey from the station and hope I remember where I was off to.
Anyway, I’m going to try harder to set aside a specific window of time every single day for myself. It’s hard when guests are here because they always want to “talk.” It drives me crazy. It’s not my job to entertain them. Go out and sightsee people, sheesh!
Anyway, I know you understand and I appreciate your encouragement. Have a wonderful week.
Patricia
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When I had a work at home job, it took a while for me to train family and friends that just because I was home, didn’t mean I was “available.” Sometimes it’s hard to say no, but I’ve gotten better at it over the years. It’s still too easy to put the writing last because so much else needs to be done.
Congrats on the new hire! Now go start saying “no.” It gets easier!
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Exactly – being here doesn’t mean I’m really “here.” Go away. Figure it out.
I have to remind myself to be kind and gracious to guests when they’re around (which they’re usually not,), but I’m going to have to start shutting my office door so they can’t see me sitting here. I’m sure I’ll feel like I’m being rude until I get used to it, but something has to give and I’m afraid that’s going to be the route I end up taking.
So – here’s to getting some writing done. Thanks for the encouragement.
Patricia
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I have a similar problem! I stayed home from school today and my wife thinks it’s a Saturday (or Sunday) and I am fair game….. I mean I wasn’t staying home from school so I could spend the day on writing but rather on feeling better and maybe a little planning and grading. Maybe, I’ll be able to say NO later…. As for your time, I hope that having to hire help means you have more guests…I find sometime I have to stay after school or find a haven to get work (grading and planning) done – but I have to close my classroom door after school because an open door invites guests, especially those who have a lot to say. I try really hard to talk less and smile more and nod occasionally but it takes time away from what i am working on. Hang in there… maybe a “Gone fishin'” sign might help. Enjoy your week. Peace (and good writing time)
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I know you understand about being gracious when someone interrupts. It’s really hard to tell them to go away. I’m going to start closing myself into a room so people cannot physically see me. That might help a little bit. And, turn off the phone. I know I’m running a business, but it’s okay to let voicemail do it’s job and return calls later. (I’m being interrupted right at this minute. Grrrr.)
So, here’s to learning how to set boundaries and sticking to our guns on that.
Have a fantastic week, Clay. Thanks for visiting and offering kind words of encouragement.
Patricia
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I understand TOTALLY! But you HAVE “attracted” writers. Morgan and I count…right? 😉
Those closest too us always, always, always see this sort of thing as a hobby or something that you can just sit down and do “whenever”. You HAVE to MAKE TIME to write, TAKE TIME to write, and remember, most of all, WRITERS WRITE! I do my best writing when I’m in a totally new environment where no one distracts me and nothing distracts me. Out of town, hotel rooms and condos, alone. I FREQUENTLY want to just GO. I cannot. You have a B&B–so you really cannot either. That means we both have to ENCOURAGE one another to MAKE TIME, TAKE TIME, and WRITE! I’m going to send you the reminder daily! Take it to heart! I’m in YOUR corner!
You go girl! 🙂
Meshea
PS
Great to see you at B&B Association meeting today. Can’t wait to see you at VCWR tonight. Oh, and will you be at the Chamber luncheon Wednesday? And what about the Chamber Meet & Greet tomorrow evening? 😉 I LOVE the progressive dinner idea for August–you’ll do a great job with that! Wish I could be at Detective Dinner Friday night!
PSS
This may be harder than my “comments” above made it sound! 😉
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I should have looked that over before hitting send lol! Some writer I am! Please ignore the mistakes. I’m baking for VCWR this evening…multi-tasking!
Mistyping “too”. I’m cringing!
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I’ll be looking for the daily dose of encouragement. I just have to not feel guilty about letting the phone go to voicemail and shutting the door so people can’t see me. Of course, closed doors don’t stop some folks, but I’m going to try it and see if it helps.
I’m hoping to go to the chamber lunch Wednesday, but I have no transportation. So, if I can find a ride, I’ll be there. I’m making time for that, but I really should be home writing. I’m making an exception because I want to see what this “new guy” has to say and how he plans to “help” Vicksburg.
It was lovely to see you today as well. Here’s to many more meetings.
Patricia
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Other than the occasional phone call, and I don’t really get many, my only recurring interruption is from my wife. After all the years of my writing, she still hasn’t figured out that when she bops in and makes a comment or asks a question or wants to show me something shiny out the window I can’t just zoom right back to where I was and pick up my train of thoughts. I guess it’s fortunate no one ever buys any of my books, so it’s not important if it takes me 3 or 4 times as long as it should to write one.
Sometimes when she can hear the clicking of my keyboard I can ward her off with a dirty look, but heaven help me if I ever stop to think. That obviously means I procrastinating and I’m fair game for interruption. Couldn’t be that I’m trying to think out my plot direction or anything like that!
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You see – other writers get it. My husband doesn’t. But, he snaps at me when I interrupt him when he’s working on something. You’d think he’d figure out that it works both way, but he hasn’t. Oh well. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth, smile and hope like hell you’ll remember where you were going with your story.
Thanks for taking time away from your writing to commiserate with me about not being able to write. What does that make us? A couple of writers not writing right?
Have a great week.
Patricia
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Reblogged this on The Blog That Would Destroy the World and commented:
by Jansen Schmidt
[My Comment: I think I’ve overdone it this time indulging in the use of a forbidden time machine. But I find it hard to write when an alien ellipsoid craft keeps building platforms on Mesas to make dire announcements to mankind by interrupting TV, cable, cell-phones or by getting into people’s heads. So I’ve come from the future and gone back in time to when they hadn’t arrived yet.
But yet I still can’t write. It’s very quiet at 3am, so I should be able to write. But I usually awaken from a nightmare, and I turn on the TV to change my mood. But something still doesn’t seem right. I mean there’s nothing very upsetting in this time frame: just the usual conventional trivial wars, no galaxy takeovers or anything or the destruction of the Earth. So it’s relatively calm. Perhaps, trying to write in English is my mistake: it’s very primitive and limiting. Oh well, maybe I’ll go home to future catastrophe.]
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