Congratulations. You’ve ended up in my book. Some of you are thinking, cool. Authors, on the other hand, are staring at the computer screen right now with mouths agape. Why are authors gaping? Because they know that if someone ends up in one of their books, it cannot be good. Usually it’s offensive, rude, and mean people who end up in books. Most certainly, they die. So, you see, ending up in a book is definitely not a good thing.
So, who’s going to end up in one of Jansen’s future books? Why a recent guest of course. A certain high maintenance, Prima Donna, bottle-blonde, undoubtedly former beauty queen contestant, with hot pink lipstick and 60 pounds of jewelry that’s who. That’s how authors handle unpleasant situations. They smile that evil sweet smile and immediately start plotting horrific ways to kill someone off. Metaphorically speaking, of course. I’d never actually harm someone simply because they were mean. (If the FBI is watching me, this is in no way a threat to harm any real person.)
I know you’re wondering what happened, so I won’t keep you in suspense. Neither will I bore you with the stupid details. Let’s just say, this woman and her husband couldn’t eat breakfast at the dining room table with the other 8 guests because someone embarrassed them. Um . . . what now? I’m not running a kindergarten class, I’m running a B & B for responsible adults. If another guest “hurts your feelings,” that is not a management problem. No, I’m not going to hire a cafeteria monitor to supervise who sits where. There are enough places set for every guest. If “someone takes your seat,” I suggest finding another one or asking other guests if they’d mind moving so you can sit next to your significant other. Be an adult. Figure it out. Stomping your feet, pouting, and demanding to be re-sat in another room is simply childish and makes you look like an idiot.
Or – and I’m more inclined to say and – it could be the idiot woman (always the women) who canceled her reservation about an hour before check-in and wanted all of her money back. Um . . .no. I held this room for you for weeks. I did my part, you failed to do yours. Our cancellation policy is clearly set forth on our website and listed on all booking confirmations. I understand that emergencies happen. I’m also inclined to make exceptions. IF you are very kind and apologetic with me on the phone. If you are rude and demand your money back, then no, I will not accommodate. You see how that works? So, you – cancellation lady – you also have a special place in one of my books. Death may or may not come swiftly to you my “special” friend.
Now tell me author friends, do you kill off “certain people” in your books? If you are not an author, have you ever read a book and wondered if the “bad” person was modeled after a real person? Come on, fess up. I won’t think poorly of you. Chances are, they were.
Word of the Day: Barotrauma
Fun fact about me: I hate confrontation. That’s why it’s so much easier to say no if you’re mean to me. Be nice, and I’ll cave.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, March 2018. Photos courtesy Google Images.
jansenschmidt 
I had actually never thought about that…. I am not writing a book, though I would like to, I am not at that point, yet. I admire you for putting up with the public – as a teacher we have parents, and sometimes it is difficult to remember to put the kids first. I try to take the high road in all that I do (less traffic – there are fewer travelers) but sometimes I slip. Have a great day and keep smiling. Peace.
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Oh, Clay, I do not want to be in your shoes at all. Parents can be the worst to deal with. Nobody wants to hear anything negative about young Johnny or Susie. Everybody has perfect children don’t you know.
I’ve only met you once but I know that you are the sort of person who takes the high road. You are right, there’s much less traffic up there, but neither are there any unreasonable people. Let’s stick to that high road my friend.
Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week.
Patricia
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Of course I put those people in books. But I change them enough that they’re unlikely to recognize themselves. Still lots of fun!
You’re a brave soul for running a public-facing business while not liking confrontation. I hate it too–that’s why I stick to computers. 🙂
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Well, to be fair, most of the guests are really nice. It’s only a rare few who are hard to please. I imagine those are the folks who find the negative in most things anyway so it’s just their MO. I don’t mind being friendly, I just don’t like having to be the bad guy or dealing with immature people who feel entitled to something special. The inside of my mouth has some pretty severe calluses from biting my cheeks and tongue to keep from saying the absolute wrong thing.
Thanks for visiting today. Have a great rest of the week. I hope you’re not fighting all of that nasty weather I’ve been reading about up north. Stay safe.
Patricia
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Ha! I keep threatening my brother-in-law that I’m going to put him in my book and have him face death by toilet plunger. 🙂 You might consider writing a story with a bed and breakfast operated by a paranormal innkeeper who can get away with pranking annoying guests…okay, maybe I’ll write that one. All I can say is, no matter where you go, there are people like “that”. It’s an unfortunate epidemic.
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You are correct about the “unfortunate epidemic.” There are those folks who just feel like their treatment should be different from everyone else’s. And those “special” people who are hyper-sensitive to everything. Good grief. Suck it up buttercup.
I think you should write that book. I’d buy it. And, add in the BIL’s death by paranormal toilet plunger. That’d be great! I usually think poison, since I do provide breakfast and all. Poison just seems the logical choice.
Have a great day my friend. Stay away from people like “that.”
Patricia
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I don’t kill off anyone in my books, but I have used the more eccentric qualities of some of my relatives. Always fun, lol!
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It’s always fun to find creative ways to work in the difficult people. Sometimes its just the qualities of these people that can be written about, sometimes their physical description, sometimes even using their name but with a different physical description. It’s sort of therapeutic if you let it be.
Thanks for sharing. Have a great rest of the week.
Patricia
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Haven’t killed off any characters in my books yet, but so far all my books are for children ages 8 – 12. Actually, the vampirate, zombie, and peg-leg skeleton were destroyed, so I lied. They don’t count as people, so I didn’t lie. 🙂
I’ve got to give you props for dealing with difficult people in your business. Yep, those people are probably that way with everyone they interact with. Just unhappy folks and many who are elderly and have lost their filters, so instead of holding their tongues like they used to, they blurt it out. I’m glad that most of the people you deal with are pleasant. This is a fun post. I can totally relate to it!
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It’s hard to stay on that high road, but it’s the best road by far. Fortunately I don’t have to deal with difficult people very often. We’ve been very fortunate in that regard. It’s always amazing to me when people get upset while they’re on vacation. I know traveling can be taxing but vacation is supposed to be a time to relax and unwind.
As always, good to see you around Lynn. I hope things are good in your world.
Patricia
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Haven’t killed off replicas of real-life people in any of my books. Not sure that would fit in historical fictions, anyhow.
The rude, boorish, super-sensitive people you’ve mentioned dealing with are not very bright. You’ve always heard about catching more flies with honey than with vinegar . . . I’m always very nice and very friendly with waitresses, motel desk attendants and other such people, and from what I have observed and hear others say, I get much better service than most people. That’s not the reason I’m nice to them, but it is a nice bonus.
Maybe you could subject your characters to barotrauma to confuse the cops. It’s probably not high on the list of things they look for in murder cases.
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Oh David, you’re missing out if you don’t kill off someone. And you absolutely can use a modern day person to kill off in an historical world. As I said to Sheila above, sometimes its just the qualities of these people that can be written about, sometimes their physical description, sometimes even using their name but with a different physical description. I’d never, ever describe a person and use their real name or the exact situation that happened. That’s just asking for trouble.
And I agree, you always catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Yet sometimes, people don’t deserve honey, they deserve vinegar. Most of the time, I smile, suck it up and deal with it in a grown-up mature way. However, there is that small percentage of times that require the sour face and equal behavior.
Subjecting my characters to barotrauma to confuse the cops sounds like an excellent idea. I’ll try that.
Always so nice to see you David. Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Patricia
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