Ridiculous Reviews

As an author, I am anxiously awaiting the day I receive my first book review. I know this may not be a pleasant experience, but I’m anticipating it none-the-less. Book reviews are two-edged swords. Most authors want reviews, especially if they’re good. But, you must take the good with the bad and I know there will undoubtedly be a bad review or two.

When we bought the inn, worrying about bad reviews was not really on our radar. Until we read one. Then we realized there really was something to this review business after all. Too many bad reviews could ruin a business. We did not want to go there.

Eventually, we got past the bad review, focused on the many, many good reviews and moved forward. In fact, we actually started soliciting reviews. Now, when our guests check out we send them a nice little e-mail thanking them for their stay and inviting them to leave a review if they so desire. Some people do. Some don’t. Most have been good. It’s a chance you take.

I used to read these reviews on a regular basis, but then life sort of got in the way, as it has a tendency to, and I stopped being so concerned about their presence. But one day last week I decided to scroll through some of the on-line reviews, just to see what people were saying. Holy cow! Some people are just plain weird. Here’s an example of some outright ridiculous reviews I encountered:

One guy didn’t like the location of the house. Um. Okay. The time to complain about that would have been 150 years ago when the house was being built. That would have been the only time the location of the house could have been moved. Seriously, didn’t this guy do his homework? Google is full of amazing information about business locations and such. What am I supposed to do about the location of the house? Dumb, dumb, dumb.

And then there is the guy who complained because we don’t have coffee available 24/7. Well, no Mr. Caffeine Man, we don’t. First of all, here in the deep south it’s usually really, really hot and really, really humid around check in time. Most folks are looking for a cool glass of lemonade or sweet tea or an ice cold beer NOT something hot to drink. You sir, are a weirdo. And, do you know how expensive coffee is? I’m not going to keep a pot brewing all day long only to throw it away at the end of the night. Not going to do it. Besides, had you asked, I would gladly have made you a cup of coffee. I do have a Keurig. But, if you don’t ask, you really shouldn’t complain later. Problem solved.

And then there was the poor lonely man who complained that when he and his wife stayed, they were our only guests that night and it was too quiet and lonely in this big old house. So . . . what? I’m supposed to bunk down in the room with you? Hire some entertainment? What? The review speaks well of the nice quiet location I guess. I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to do about him feeling alone. Believe me I wish they weren’t our only guests that night. I’d love to have full rooms every single night. But it doesn’t always work out that way especially in January. When it’s cold. And people aren’t traveling. And, guess what, I probably would have had a hot beverage to greet you upon arrival.

Anyway, these were just some of the things that made me go

How about you readers, do you write reviews? Do you read reviews and if so, do they affect your decision to try something? How do you handle a bad review?

Word of the day: Dupbar

Fun fact about me: I write book reviews, but I’m honest so you have to be prepared for my honest opinion if you specifically ask me for one.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, March 2018. Photos courtesy Google Images.