My husband and I are going to be grands. Sort of. Neither of us have any children of our own, but we do have nieces and nephews, the oldest of which is having a baby. So, it’s our first grand niece or nephew. That’s pretty darned exciting!
We were given the good news at Christmas and ever since we’ve been following the progress of mother, baby and Dad, although not so much him, except to make sure he’s taking very good care of our little mama. Not that we don’t love him, mind you, we’re just more concerned about the new little life being carried in our niece’s womb.
But, I digress so let’s move the story along shall we. Three or maybe four weeks ago, we received an invitation to a baby shower for the new little bundle of joy. Because our extended family lives in California, we had to decline our RSVP, but we did want to send a gift. I was so excited about shopping for the new little one. I had visions of cute little outfits, cuddly soft blankets, and other whatnot. However, as I was traveling to the store I thought it was probably more practical to purchase some necessities, things that moms and dads need to properly care for the infant. I resolved to pick out just one cute little outfit and some other more practical things.
Firmly resolved, I parked the car, grabbed a shopping cart, and skipped into the baby department prepared to purchase something the family would really need. After wandering down aisle, after aisle, after aisle, after aisle, of car seats, cribs, high chairs, playpens, diaper pails, strollers, baby monitors, onesies, twosies, sockies, shoeies, I darn near had a nervous breakdown. “They need ALL of this stuff,” I exclaimed. “They need everything. They have nothing. How will this baby survive without ALL of this stuff.”
After talking myself off the ledge, and checking the balance on my credit card (which did not allow me to purchase the entire baby department), I took a few deep breaths and started over. “Let’s start small,” I said. Because I happened to be in an aisle with pacifiers, I decided that this was the best place to start. I snatched up a package of the little sucking devices with darling little farm animals on them. “These are cute.” Then I read the package. 0-2 months. “WHAT?!?!” They come in sizes? After just 8 weeks this kid is going to need a bigger size? I’m going to go bankrupt.
I immediately headed for a different – less confusing – aisle. Clothing. Whew. At least I know something about clothes. Onesies. Everyone says babies can’t have too many onesies. And yes, I know these items come in specific sizes, thank you very much. I am not a complete baby idiot. “Newborn. I’ll look for newborn size.” Locating a package of 3 really cute, non-gender specific because we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, onesies, I checked the size chart. Yup. Newborn. Here we go. Wait – what?!? Newborn is only up to 7 pounds. Lots of babies are bigger than that at birth! I’m not going to waste money on something this infant may not even be able to wear, even for a day or so.
I got the next size up, which was only up to 10 pounds. Are you kidding me? I put on 3 pounds I can still wear everything in my closet. If a baby puts on 3 pounds they need an entire new wardrobe. How does anyone afford a baby?!?! I grabbed another package of onesies, up to 6 months and figured at some point this kid will fit into them. Then I prayed real hard that he or she wouldn’t grow too fast. (Is that wrong of me?)
I felt a headache coming on so I left the clothing department and went in search of blankets. Seriously, what can go wrong in the blanket department? Oh. My. God. Thermal blankets, flannel blankets, receiving blankets, crib blankets, bassinet blankets, fuzzy blankets, smooth blankets, why are there so many blankets? Are you kidding me? Spotting one with Mickey Mouse on it (you just can’t go wrong with Disney), I snagged it and threw it in the cart next to the 3-years supply of pacifiers and the way-too-big (unless she births a giant) onesies already in there.
Moving on I found some other things that I deemed absolutely necessary. I’ve heard that babies like to be swaddled so I grabbed a package of swaddlers. Because these things are basically just miniature straight jackets I figured one-size-fits-all so I dropped the package on to the growing pile in my cart and hurried off to the bottles and bibs aisle. To avoid further stress I focused only on items at eye level, made a few selections, turned the corner and found myself in the “medical supplies,” aisle.
My Pandora’s Box had now officially been fully blown open. Every parent should have every single thing in this aisle. Every. Single. Thing. Opting for the oral, rectal or armpit thermometer, and a couple of other medically-type things, I hurried to the next aisle hoping I’d find dog food or something. Nope. More baby stuff. Diapers, formula, jars of food, boxes of cereal, and on and on. I’m going to need a second job. And why couldn’t this have been the wine aisle?
Folks I didn’t even venture into the bathtime aisle, although I did throw in some really cute Finding Nemo squirter dealies that were on an end cap. At this point I was near to tears. How do first-time mothers (or fathers) navigate their way through all of this confusing, expensive stuff? My niece and her husband aren’t wealthy people and they are going to need so much stuff. My only hope is that she doesn’t have twins because I am NOT going back to that store again for a long, long time. I’m not going to lie to you. It scares me.
Tell me dear readers, how do or did you manage to find your way through the new baby years? Any surprises that just blew you away? Do you wish you could buy everything for your grands? I need some good sound advice for not breaking out my pocketbook in another 3 months when this kid needs new clothes. Or pacifiers.
Word of the day: Recidivist
Fun fact about me: I’ve never really been a baby person.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, June 2019. Images by Unsplash and giphy.com.
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First of all, congratulations. I see you have already been indoctrinated into the scary world of infanthood. Not to make your angst any worse, but our daughter was 11.5 pounds at birth. I hope that size 10 onesie is made of stretch material.
Since our son ( the second and last child) was born 48 years ago, outfitting a baby has morphed into a complicated process second only to sending astronauts into space. So glad we don’t have to navigate it. For example, we simply purchased a stroller. Nowadays, it’s like buying a car. Do you want a one-seater or two-seater? If the two, side-by-side or the fore and aft? Stroller for just walking or running also? Four wheels or eight? Some strollers come with enough compartments to bring most of your worldly possessions with you. On and on. If they’re lucky, the baby will be able to walk by the time mom leaves the hospital.
I can’t imagine how expensive it must be raise children in California. Probably comes close to the cost of a house.
Here’s the good news, as great aunt and uncle, you will enjoy all the fun and love from the little tykes without any of the hassle! Luckeee!
Have a great day and congrats to both again on your soon to be new titles.
ypa
P.S. Your niece is a beautiful mom-to-be.
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Al, infanthood is indeed a scary world. And I know what you mean about those strollers. We see so much crap being carted into the parks when we visit Disney World. I truly think they do carry everything that child owns in the stroller. It takes a good half hour just to get through the security check point.
But, we’re super excited about the baby. I know he or she will be greatly loved and will be well taken care of even if they don’t get everything available in the baby department.
Take care. Good to see you.
Patricia
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Just remember that children seemed to survive without all “the stuff” just fine in ye olden days. There’s necessary and then there’s “the stuff”. When my daughter was little, I hit tons of garage sales because babies grow out of things so fast that it was easy to find new and almost-new clothes and toys and whatevers…including car seats and strollers and pretty much everything. But yeah, you could easily go bankrupt buying everything new at once. I’m sure you’ll have tons of fun spoiling your grandbaby!
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Coleen my niece is pretty frugal so I’m sure she’ll find all the bargains. She also has some older cousins who have donated a whole bunch of hand-me-down things including the high dollar items. The baby will wont for nothing.
I just could not believe all of the different stuff and sizes and contraptions out there. I’ve truly never paid any attention to any of this stuff. It was overwhelming.
As always, thanks for stopping by and for sharing your thoughts. Have a great week.
Patricia
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Patricia, I assume you are NOT this baby’s only relatives. Your post sounded like you feel responsible for providing everything the baby will need, but you’re not. Other than for our own grandkids, all of whom are now grown, we just buy and item or two when a niece or nephew or friends has a baby.
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You know David, most of this post was written tongue-in-cheek, but I was really amazed at how much crap is available these days for infants, toddlers, etc. And, you are right, we are not the baby’s only relatives. However, my niece is only 1 of about 4 of my remaining relatives so it’s a pretty big deal for me. We know that it is not our responsibility to outfit this kid with everything they’re going to need, we’re just excited about the next generation.
Thanks for visiting today. Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Patricia
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The baby industrial complex is breathtaking, isn’t it? It was bad enough 24 years ago, so I can only imagine what it’s like now. The good thing is there are now online registries! Just look up what your niece and her husband asked for, then buy what you want from that. And have it shipped – easy! Congrats, and enjoy your time with the little one once he/she arrives!
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Thanks Jennette. I know she already has a bunch of stuff from her cousin on the other side of the family and they have had at least 1 shower, so she’s going to be pretty well set by the time the little one arrives. I was just flabbergasted by the amount of stuff and babies “need.” I’ve never given it much thought but I do know that when I see young mothers they’re always carting around a whole bunch of junk. I guess it’s all necessary.
We’re pretty excited about the baby. We wished we lived a little closer but it’ll be fun to visit.
Thanks for stopping by. I hope things are going well for you in Tennessee. I suppose it won’t be long now and you’ll be moving in.
Patricia
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Congratulations!
And I share your confusion.
I became a GrandMil this month to my step-daughter’s baby.
There had been a baby shower back in March and we were asked to gift a copy of our favourite book as a child. A beautiful idea. I took my fave Dr. Seuss book.
As I was leaving, I noticed that some smarty had gifted not A book, but the ENTIRE Dr. Seuss collection.
Now I feel like a cheapskate Grandmother.
But seriously, where do you stop?
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Oh man, I know how you feel. I’d have felt like a cheapskate too, but you’re right how much is too much or too little to spend on a gift? Some people can’t afford very much while others can afford the “entire collection.” I think you did the right thing because the invitation said to bring your favorite BOOK, singular, not your favorite COLLECTION of books. They can’t follow directions.
Anyway, it’s the thought that counts and always will be.
Thanks for sharing your experience. Always good to hear what others have gone through.
Patricia
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We were just as overwhelmed with the all the stuff we would need, but in reality less is more. There are a few fundamental things – clothing, diapers, feeding stuff, and cleaning stuff. Ours survived and are thriving…. 21 and 16 years later. The stuff they need and want now is just as overwhelming. But love wins, always. Have a wonderful day. I know I will or do my darnedest to make it happen.
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I guess there are just a lot of things I don’t know about that it seems I should know stuff about. Babies for instance. They seem relatively simple when you just look at them. I mean, they don’t DO anything but squirm around a little. At least for a little while anyway. How could they need so much stuff?
Anyway, it was an eye-opening experience. And, I think you know me well enough by now to know that most of this was written tongue-in-cheek, but I was truly a bit overwhelmed when I shopped.
As always, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. Your friendship is appreciated.
Patricia
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