The Good Old Days

I want to go back. Back to the good old days. Not that I want to be younger or actually GO back in time, but rather I want things to stop changing. I like stuff the way it currently is or used to be. Some things nowadays are designed to make our lives easier, but they just make it harder. And when things break down, it takes a skilled technician, two weeks and a thousand dollars to fix them.

I’m talking about computers and electronics and cars. Those push button ignitions are pretty cool, but Lord help you if you push that button and nothing happens. Guess what? Nobody will know how to fix that except a really expensive mechanic. You’ll have to call a tow truck and hope you have a good mechanic because any number of things could be wrong at this point. Perhaps it’s the fob. (And who thought of a fob anyway?) It could be the battery in either the car or the fob. It could be the alternator. The starter. A sensor. A fuse. Anything from a ten-dollar item to a ten-thousand-dollar item. How is that making my life easier? I mean were keys really so hard to figure out? Just give me back my key and I’ll stick it in the slot. Those push button ignitions did not really make my life easier. So many things can go wrong with the push button starters. Is inserting a key and twisting it so hard?

Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

I’m also talking about little things. Simple things. Things like child proof lids on containers. Those things are nothing but a pain in the butt. I have spent way more time than necessary trying to open some stupid container with a child-proof lid on it.

And, while we’re on the subject, let’s talk about those little foil safety seals that are on a lot of bottles. Some wise person added that little plastic tab thing that you’re supposed to grab on to and rip that foil safety seal right off. Does that EVER happen? No. No, it does not. The plastic or foil seals are on there so tight you have to have something with a super sharp point to even penetrate them. I always have to get a knife and cut around the edge of the seal to remove it. Can’t we just go back to the plastic seal around the lid on the OUTSIDE of the bottle? Geez. Those safety seals are nerve-wracking.

And don’t even get me started on the packaging for batteries. Those little button batteries that gadget companies are so fond of these days (remember those key fobs referenced above?). Have you ever tried to open one of those packages? That plastic packaging when cut, is super sharp. In fact, that cut plastic will slit a wrist if you’re not careful. And don’t try to cut it open with regulation household scissors. No sir. That’ll never work. You’ll dull those scissors and get carpal tunnel in your wrist trying to open a package of button batteries that way. In fact, I’d really like to know how to get those little discs out of that extra heavy-duty packaging, so if you know, kindly enlighten me.

Let’s talk cereal. We didn’t have those plastic bags inside the boxes when I was a kid. Nope, we just opened the cardboard top and poured ourselves a big bowl of sugary goodness. No mom needed. Nowadays you have to grip both sides of those plastic bags, bend your knees, brace your elbows, and pull with all your might to open that sealed bag, sometimes using your teeth for added force. And then, if you’re lucky, you won’t have to clean up the mess that comes spewing up when the seal finally breaks. You’ve all done that I’m sure. Rip open the bag, using all your might, only to have cereal rain down around you from the force required to open it. Good God, why is that? Why are those plastic bags sealed so tightly?

Medicine bottles are probably the worst offenders. “Push top while turning.” “Hold tab down with thumb before turning.” It’s all so confusing. The very last thing I want to do when I’m in need of medicine is to spend ten minutes fighting with the bottle. Last night I needed some Pepto-Bismol, like right now, and I could not get that danged lid off. I pushed down. I twisted. I released, inhaled, exhaled, shook out my wrists, tried again. No can do. Lid not budging. Good grief. I was about to find a hack saw and just whack off the entire cap at the neck. Why are these things so difficult?

And then there’s Black Friday. What’s up with that? Used to be, the day after Thanksgiving, folks would enjoy a leisurely breakfast with their visiting family from out-of-town before you’d pack everybody up in the minivan and head to the mall for some quality time shopping and having fun before returning home to watch some football. Like you see in the Hallmark movies. Then, someone decided everyone needed to get up at o’dark thirty to open up the retail stores so there’d be more hours to earn the almighty dollar. Which in turn, prompted shoppers to forego even getting dressed, much less having breakfast, and just camping out on the store thresholds in their pajamas to get the best deals.

Then came “early Black Friday” where some retailers would open their doors on Thanksgiving day in the afternoon. To “get a jump” on the Black Friday deals. Last year, Black Friday started on the Wednesday BEFORE Thanksgiving. This year – oh Lordy – the ENTIRE MONTH of November is Black Friday!! Let’s just get real people. This is getting out of hand. It’s insanity. I want to go back to the good old days where families ate turkey and pumpkin pie, got a good night’s sleep, had a nice breakfast with their loved ones, then, maybe, just maybe, went and did a little holiday shopping. Can we please go back to that? Please?

Maybe I’m just getting old. I don’t know. My life should be getting easier yet every day, at some point, I find myself saying, “Why is nothing ever easy?”

How about you guys? Has your life improved with the advancement of technology? Are food safety procedures driving you crazy? Any tricks for easily opening foil seals? How many times a day do you find yourself saying “what the $&%#!”

Word of the Day: Lunette

Fun fact about me: Way back when, I was offered a job at a company that created and sold bar codes. Because I didn’t know what a bar code was and I had no vision of how they’d become so popular, I turned the job down. Perhaps if we could go back in time, I’d take that job offer.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, November 2020. Images by Google, Pexels and giphy.com

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