I’ve been an innkeeper for going on six years now and I think I’ve developed a pretty good routine and managed somehow to keep things running smoothly. Of course, there are always those unexpected things that crop up and sometimes throw me off kilter, but I think I’ve learned to be pretty flexible and accommodating if at all possible.
However, I’ve discovered that, over the past five plus years, I’ve developed a intolerance to guests acting childish. Guests being stupid I can handle, because I’ve been stupid in the past as well; asking dumb questions or doing something wrong or whatever. Hey, it happens. We’re all human. But acting childish is just plain unacceptable to me and some guests really test my patience.
Lately the guest activity that drives me bonkers is the seating arrangements at the table. Because I’ve been having multiple rooms booked almost every day now (YAY!!!) I’ve had to, once again, deal with multiple people in the dining room at the same time. Believe it or not, this sometimes causes confusion. It shouldn’t, but some people are oblivious or just don’t care about how the table is set.
You see, in order to maintain appropriate “social distancing,” I have to space my guests out at the table, sometimes setting up a separate table if there are too many people at one time. Or, I have to serve breakfast in shifts, the first group at 8:00 and the second group at 8:30. This is a good problem for me to have, but creates confusion for the guests for unknown reasons.
Last week I had two rooms rented on Thursday night with a total of three guests. I set two places at one end of the table and one place setting at the other end of the table. Easy peasy. Well, the single gal came down first. Where do you think she sat? That’s right – at the end with two place settings. Why? I have no idea. When the couple from the other room came down, the lady sat across from the first gal and her husband sat at the opposite end of the table where the solo place was set. So much for social distancing. I didn’t think I had to put place cards with their names, but apparently I did. The husband was astute enough to move his things next to his wife but shouldn’t the solo traveler have noticed this arrangement and sat accordingly? Do I expect too much of people? Probably.
On another occasion recently, I had six places set at one table and two at another. Don’t ask me why, but when the first couple came down, they grabbed two seats NOT together. Say what? Why would you do this? Just not paying attention to how the table was set or whatever, I guess, but weird nonetheless. Anyway, another couple came down and sat at the separate table. The next couple came down and placed their napkins over the backs of two other chairs side-by-side then went to the coffee bar to get coffee. While they were getting coffee, the final couple came down and sat in those two chairs that were side-by-side instead of taking the other two chairs not together. I presume they thought the couple getting coffee were the spouses of the other two people not sitting together. That at least makes sense in my mind.
At this point, realizing what they had done, the first couple rearranged themselves so that they were now sitting side-by-side, freeing up the last two spots next to each other. But the couple that placed their napkins over the backs of their chairs, which were now occupied by two other guests, got upset. Instead of just moving to the two freed up spots, they knocked on the kitchen door and told me that another couple had “stolen their chairs.” REALLY? How childish is that? Just sit in the other two empty chairs. Everyone is still socially distanced, they’re just not the two chairs you originally chose. It’s not kindergarten.
But, nope. They have to make a stink. So, I’m up to my elbows finishing the bacon and dishing food onto the plates but I now have to go out into the dining room and try to understand why this idiot couple can’t sit where there are two empty chairs. Even the other guests were confused. Finally, the couple that sat in “their chairs” got up and moved to the other two empty chairs. REALLY? What was so important about those particular chairs. And now, everyone has to sit together at the same table and eat their breakfast after this tantrum. How awkward is that?
Now, before the pandemic, when I had full houses all the time and squeezed fourteen people all around one big table, invariably the last couple into the dining room would not have two seats together because everyone wants to leave a chair in between themselves and the couple next to them. But, usually the stragglers always just occupied the random single chairs and didn’t care if they sat next to the person they slept with. That’s what “normal” people would do.
But I do get guests who are NOT normal. I had one couple complain about the two remaining chairs not being together and they insisted on sitting together. REALLY? So, again, I had to put breakfast on hold for twelve other people while I set up a separate table with two separate chairs so this couple could sit together. Talk about making a scene. It would have been less awkward to just sit in the chairs that weren’t together. But, hey, that’s how some folks are and I try to accommodate. That’s me being flexible. (I’m flexible but I sometimes complain about it What’s an innkeeper to do?)
For a while I was using name cards to avoid this problem, but I cringed every time I put them out because I didn’t want to treat my guests like idiots who couldn’t figure out how to arrange themselves around a table. The name tags assured that everyone could sit next to the person they shared a room with, but should I really have to do that? Can’t we all just be adults, find an empty chair, sit, and enjoy our breakfast? Do we need to have assigned seats?
How about you guys – would you be uncomfortable at a community table if you weren’t sitting next to your significant other? Should I be more tolerant of this behavior? Should I keep using the name cards? Tell me so I know how to improve. Your thoughts matter.
Word of the Day: Isocracy
Fun fact about me: I have a tendency to save boxes.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, April 2021. Images by Google and giphy.com.
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jansenschmidt 
Honestly, Patricia, I don’t know how you do it. I’d be up on manslaughter charges by now. “Honestly your honor, the skillet just slipped out of my hand!”
Here’s my suggestion. Always set two tables. One with a big place card that says reasonable, accommodating adults sit here. The other with a card reading, crybabies sit here. They’ll know who they are.
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Oh Al, you have so much faith. I believe the crybabies would NOT know who they are. They don’t know they’re being childish. But, I do my best. I have to deal with all personality types. This weekend I had a VERY vocal Donald Trump hater. That situation was hard to keep from exploding. The first thing he said to me when he came through the door was “who has the Trump/Pence sign on their car?” And then he went off. He had a Biden/Harris bumper sticker and made a great point about making sure I saw it. As if I needed proof based on his outburst. (sigh)
Anyway, I’m glad you found the humor. That’s what I try to do, but some days . . . I like your skillet idea. I’m going to table that for further rumination.
Have a wonderful week and thanks, as always, for joining in the conversation.
Patricia
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The Trump hating guy would not have been manslaughter, it would have been first degree with prejudice!
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Anybody who barges into my home spewing hate toward anyone or anything can just turn right around and walk back out. I welcome people no matter their sexual orientation, political persuasion, or religious affiliation. I will NOT however welcome people who are not kind or respectful. Period. That guy was on the line. I almost told him he was welcome to find someplace else.
I’m too nice sometimes. At breakfast he sat at the table and didn’t say a word to anybody. I was worried, but I think his wife beat him down. She was obviously embarrassed by his outburst. I just killed him with kindness. Score one for me!
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Patricia – I agree with Al. In my line of work, I expect childish behavior when I come up with a seating chart – especially with 8th graders, 6th graders are a little better. I can at least en force a seating chart. You on the other hand have to be more diplomatic. that table of your is HUGE! and with the guidelines for keeping others safe it’s still pretty big. Deep breathing techniques will probably do the trick. Stay safe and well and keep filling the inn. Peace.
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I do a lot of deep breathing, but I’m afraid sometimes my thoughts are expressed wordlessly on my face. I have to remember to keep my facial expressions neutral. That’s the hardest part.
And, fortunately, the complainers are few and far between so those little pesky ones really stand out. Sometimes I tell myself that those people are just unhappy people and go through their life making other people miserable. That’s who they are. Some people are like that. I feel bad for them.
Thanks, as always, for stopping by and letting me know your thoughts. It’s nice to feel “heard” and supported. Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Patricia
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I admit, I’d be uncomfortable sitting at a table between strangers while my husband sat at the other end. He’s a talker and would be totally fine with it. I’d sit there in awkward silence and eat as fast as possible to escape, but I’d suck it up. He’s a good husband, though, and would probably be the one knocking on the door asking if there’s any way we could sit together if he couldn’t sweet-talk another guest into switching places. I like the name card idea, not because your guests are stupid, but I’d see it as an elegant personal touch. You have such great patience to deal with all the personalities that come through your door!
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When I have a houseful, I try to keep an eye on the happenings in the dining room and when people start looking for seats I usually say something like, “please find a seat but leave two seats together for any latecomers.” Most people are understand and will comply. I don’t always get out there in time, because, you know, cooking bacon, but most days I’m pretty good about trying to make sure everyone has a seat next to their bed partner.
Some morning I feel like a juggler but I’m getting the hang of it again after a year of having no guests. It’s a nice problem to have. And, when you visit, I’ll make sure you have a reserved spot at the table. (I think the problem with my name cards is that they are too small and people can’t read them. And I only put the room name not the guest name and so many people have no idea what room they stayed in. Sigh. Always something.)
Thanks for chiming in this beautiful Monday morning. I hope you have a wonderful week.
And – it’s so hard to imagine Jack being a talker. (snicker-snort)
Patricia
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Yay for business picking up! Hopefully we won’t need the distancing measures for much longer. But yeah, I’m with CJ – I think it’s an introvert thing. I would do exactly what she said, especially in the AM when I am a zombie. So much better to leave initiating conversations to my extroverted husband! If the place cards make things easier for you, use them–and hope the guests are smart enough to figure them out.
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I’ll have to try them again. I think most folks that stay at B & B’s are pretty much looking forward to breakfast conversation. At least it seems that way to me. It’s part of the experience. But I get it that there are folks who are not excited about talking to strangers. It does make sitting together at one large table uncomfortable for some people.
When you visit, I’ll be sure and save you a special spot next to your husband so you won’t have to be uncomfortable. Just you and your Mountain Dew. It’ll be awesome!
Thanks for sharing. It’s so hard to please everyone so I like hearing ideas from everyone to find a happy mix of both personality types.
Have a wonderful rest of the week.
Patricia
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