What’s Really Going On Here?

Do you ever look at a person and immediately formulate an opinion about them, be it by their clothes, their hair, their tattoos, etc.? It’s easy to do. It’s easy to look at someone and decide right then and there that there is something wrong with them or something unpleasant enough that you want to keep your distance. But is there really something wrong with them? Are they really unpleasant to be around? Does their pink hair really mean they’re starved for attention? Do their whole-body tattoos mean they have low self-esteem? Does their revealing clothing really mean they have loose morals? Maybe. Probably not. But, if you don’t look deeper, you’ll never find out.

I’m as guilty as the next guy of making snap judgments. We’re human. I think it’s just part of our make-up. Now, being judgmental is never a good quality especially if we’re jumping to the wrong conclusions without knowing the whole story. Forming an initial perception is one thing, but behaving improperly as a result is something else. We all deserve some amount of respect and it’s always beneficial to be kind and polite no matter how unworthy we judge someone to be based on their looks alone. In my case, no matter how I perceive someone, I will give them some time to prove me wrong. Some of the roughest looking men (or women for that matter) I’ve ever met are the sweetest people on the planet. Had I written them off from my initial “first look,” I’d have deprived myself of some amazing friendships.

On the flip side, we all have flaws. We all have something that someone else believes makes us “unworthy.” We’ve all been judged in some way at some point in our lives, whether we know it or not. Flight attendants, for example, observe all passengers upon boarding and immediately make determinations about certain things those people may or may not require during the flight. They may be wrong, but they do it. They try to ascertain who is going to be high-maintenance. Who will be the last person to turn off their cell phone. Which kid is going to cry the entire flight. Those kinds of things.

As an innkeeper I am often surprised that some guests turn out to be completely opposite than how I thought they were going to be when they checked in, be it for better or for worse. I usually know right away that I need to give some guests a wide berth. Others, I’m sure could become life-long friends. But, first impressions stay with me and it’s hard to change my mind if you come at me wrong from the get-go. I’m going to make a determination about you. It’s up to you to change my mind if you screw that first impression up.

Be that as it may, this week’s post is all about looking beyond the original first impression. Look twice. Look three times. Look deeper. Look lower. Look higher. Be patient and see if your initial perception was wrong. Be willing to admit that your original “judgment” was wrong. Embrace what might be there. As an innkeeper, or a person in general, I have no idea what my guest has experienced on their way to me. Maybe they’re overly tired from a long day on the road. Maybe they’re really hungry. Maybe they’ve argued with their spouse in the car. Maybe they’re just plain ornery all the time. I try to reserve final judgment until breakfast. A good night’s sleep can change a lot of attitudes.

Here’s a very short video about what I’m talking about. Sometimes taking the time to look – really look – will make everything appear differently. Enjoy!

Are you guilty of formulating initial judgments about people? Do you try to reserve “judgment” until you’ve had more time to “see?” Are you immediately accepting of everyone at face value? Has anyone ever judged you wrongly? We’re all friends here, so let me know your stories. I’ll start: I admit that I rarely make an assumption based on someone’s physical appearance. I do, however, make judgment calls about how people act. I don’t care what you look like. I do care how you treat me and other people.

Word of the Day: Calumet

Fun fact about me: I truly don’t mind washing dishes.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, September 2021. Images by Google. Video courtesy Clint Pulver (YouTube)

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