The Dangers of Seeing It All

I’m pretty confident that at some point in each of our lives we’ve all said, at least once, “Now I’ve seen it all.” I know I’ve said that a few times. It’s a popular expression as sometimes there are simply no words to describe some oddity that we’ve just seen. So, we just fall back on this catchphrase, which implies that there is nothing weirder than what we’ve experienced. But, as I’ve discovered in the world of innkeeping, I’m pretty sure the universe sees those five words as a challenge.

I’ve blogged before about some of the crazy things my inn guests have said or done. Let’s face it, I’ve met some interesting and unusual people. I’ve come across lots and lots of great blog fodder from the interactions with my guests.

I’ve blogged about people complaining about stupid stuff like the hangers in the armoires not matching or having to climb up the stairs. I’ve blogged about the interesting and creative ways people find to park in my parking lot. And, I’ve blogged about how some of my guests aren’t playing with a full deck, if you know what I mean.

Well folks, here are a couple of recent experiences that had me scratching my head, raising my eye brows and inadvertently saying, “Now I’ve seen it all.”

When guests check in, I always ask if they have any food allergies or insensitivies that I need to be aware of for breakfast. I’ve discovered that a lot of people are allergic to shellfish. No worries, I don’t serve shellfish for breakfast. I get some vegetarians, a few gluten-free people, the occasional vegan and once in awhile someone with some weird food allergy; like peaches.

But one day, not too long ago I had a lady tell me, after I asked her if she had any food allergies, that she was a carnivore. I’ve never had anybody tell me that. Now, I know what a carnivore is, a meat-eater, right? But how does that translate to breakfast? I asked her to be more specific and, sure enough, she told me she only eats meat.

Say what? I am NOT going to give this lady a plate full of bacon. Nope. Not going to do that.

“Do you eat eggs?” I asked, thinking that was a reasonable question, considering I was talking about breakfast.

“No,” she replied. “I only eat meat.”

Okkkaaaayyy. “So . . . no potatoes then either?”

“No. I don’t eat any fruit or vegetables or pasta or anything like that. I only eat meat.”

“No oatmeal? No toast?”

“No.”

Holy freaking mother of God! What am I going to give this lady to eat? I have never in my entire 57 years on this planet ever encountered anyone who only eats meat! What the hell?

She got 4 sausage links for breakfast. No joke. That’s what I served her.

I also had my very first guest who brought all of her own linens; towels, sheets, pillows, bedspread. She packed in 3 large black plastic trash bags. Hauled them all upstairs. I watched with narrowed eyes resisting the urge to ask what in holy hell was in all those bags. Then she carried up her suitcase and a backpack.

The next morning, after breakfast, she lugged it all back downstairs. I could no longer resist the urge – I had to ask – “what’s in the bags?”

“I always use my own linens,” she said. “I know, it’s probably a bit unusual, but I travel with my own stuff.”

Good luck traveling to Europe – I said in my mind.

Now, I know with covid fears and everything that’s probably a legitimate concern, but holy crap who wants to travel – on vacation – and schlep all that stuff around with you every single day? Pillows I understand, but who wants to stuff wet towels into a trash bag and carry them to your next destination? If she does that every day of her trip, that’s a lot of wet towels. Maybe she stops at a laundromat every day. Who knows? Not my worry.

Anyway, that was a first for me. And, since she took all my clean stuff off the bed so she could put her own stuff on, I still had to wash everything before I put it back on the bed. I wonder if she used her own shower curtain? Hmmm.

Anyway, my warning to you, for this new year, is to think twice before believing that you have truly seen it all. The universe just might surprise you.

Do you guys know someone who travels with their own linens? Do you know anyone who’s a carnivore? Have you even heard of this crazy thing? What would you feed them for breakfast?

Happy new you everyone!! Here’s hoping you have some fun things planned, even it if includes a road trip with your own linens only eating meat three times a day!

And here’s a reminder: If you haven’t signed up for my newsletter, I encourage you to do so now. I’ve got some exciting things planned for the year that only my newsletter followers will know about. I promise you’ll only get 6 newsletters for the entire year so I won’t clutter up your inbox. Here’s the link: http://bit.ly/JansenSchmidtNewsletter

Word of the Day: Samel

Fun fact about me: I love bacon but am pretty sure I couldn’t eat JUST bacon for breakfast. Okay, maybe I could. I’d certainly try.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, January 2022. Images by Google and giphy.com