If You Need To Go North, Head East

I’m not a math person, but I am able to do basic math. Most of the time. I’m not all into the X + Y = the square root of pi stuff, but adding and subtracting and multiplying, you know the basic everyday stuff, I can handle. Most of the time the use of math is just automatic and I don’t even think about it, I just make the calculation and off I go. Most of the time I don’t even question my result. But sometimes, once in a while . . . .

I’m sure you guys have had those moments when you’re going along, acting all smart and stuff and then – bam – out of nowhere, it hits you that something doesn’t seem right with that calculation. You know, like at the gas pump when you put 12 gallons in the tank and the screen shows that you owe $49.47. Say what now? That doesn’t seem right.

Or, when you’re fixing pancakes and you try to triple your usual serving portion but end up pouring in 8 cups of water. What? 8 cups? One tripled is . . . well, not 8. Sheesh. What was I thinking? I made pancakes for the entire block that morning.

Anyway, here’s where my most recent stint with “heavy” math came into question. In June I’m FINALLY going to a writer’s conference that I’ve been wanting to go to for years. I saved my money and registered for the event in 2019. Woo Hoo!! I was finally going to go in 2020.

Nope. I was definitely NOT going. The organizers, event hosts, and sponsors put their heads together and scrambled around to find a way to offer the conference in 2021, but it was virtual. Ummm. No thank you. I don’t want to pay over $500 for a “hands-on” virtual conference. How does that even work? I’ll just take my money back.

Hang on, hang on. Not so fast. We’ll give you one more chance to attend. So, using my 2019 registration fee for the 2020 conference, I am now attending – live – in person – the 2022 conference. Great!! Yippee!! Here we go. I made my hotel reservations and booked my flight.

But wait. Should I have done that? I need to go from my home in Vicksburg, Mississippi to the conference center in Appleton, Wisconsin; 974.6 miles due north, an anticipated 14 hour and 38 minute trip by car. Holy moly. That’s a long day on the road. And with gas prices such as they are (I need both arms and legs), I’m glad I decided to fly.

But wait. My flight schedule is the screwiest messed up zig-zagged flight pattern possible. My first flight, yes, there’s more than 1, out of Vicksburg is to Washington, DC. Ummm, what? DC is 1,021.1 miles east and slightly north of Vicksburg and nowhere near where I need to be. It’s an estimated 2 hour and 10 minute plane ride. Then, I fly to Chicago. Chicago is 699.8 miles due west and slightly north and an estimated 1 hour and 47 minute plane ride. Huh. So, I go waaaay out of my way to DC only to turn right around and fly almost back where I started. Basically, in 4 hours I will have only traveled 777 miles north of where I started.

From Chicago it’s another 194.4 miles to Appleton, Wisconsin; another 58 minute plane ride. So, altogether, I will have flown 2,497.9 miles, almost 3 times the total distance from Vicksburg to Appleton, but instead of being on the road for 14 and a half hours, I will have been in the air for around 5. So, theoretically, I’m saving 9 ½ hours by flying. But, am I really?

My first flight leaves Vicksburg at 6:00 in the morning. I need to be at the airport by about 5:00. I live about 45 minutes from the airport, which means I’m going to be getting up around 4:30 at the very latest to make this flight. Also, when I land, at my final destination at 2:30, I’ll need to locate the hotel shuttle and check in. I anticipate I’ll be arriving at the hotel anywhere between 3:30 and 4:00.

So, if I start my day at 4:30, and more or less end my day at my destination around 4:00, that’s a total of almost 12 hours. Altogether, I’ve probably only saved 2 ½ hours by flying. And, I’ll have changed times zones twice, once on my way to DC, and once flying right back where I started into the central time zone. Neither of which are even necessary to get from Mississippi to Wisconsin.

But hey, think of all the reading I’ll get done on the plane. Not to mention those 3 tiny plastic cups of soda and 3 miniature snack bags I’ll be able to enjoy. Oh, the joys of flying.

Have you guys ever had a crazy flight pattern when you’ve traveled? Do you try to save time by flying? Or do you prefer to drive? 14 hours seems like a long time in the car, But 5 hours on a airplane and 3 hours in 3 airports can be grueling as well. And can you believe I have 3 flights to travel less than a thousand miles?

I’ve got some exciting things planned for the year that only my newsletter followers will know about. I promise you’ll only get 6 newsletters for the entire year, so I won’t clutter up your inbox. Here’s the link if you want to sign up and be the first to know things: http://bit.ly/JansenSchmidtNewsletter

Word of the Day: Diamente’

Fun fact about me: I’m one of those rebels who sneaks my own nuts onto airplanes.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, March 2022. Images by Google and giphy.com