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Archive for the ‘dieting’ Category

lady working outExercise is not my favorite activity. I know it’s a necessary evil and I know there are great benefits to be had from daily partaking in this event. But, I don’t like it. Over the years I’ve tried to find a form of exercise that I enjoy. (more…)

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jan-calendar

It’s almost January – let the dieting, working out, eating healthier, spending less, drinking less, and other awesome goals begin! Here’s to a good two weeks of purging the old habits and staying focused on those resolutions. Mark my words, by the end of January there will be a noticeable decline in gym attendance and longer lines at the burger joint drive through windows.

Resolutions are wonderful; however, rarely attainable. Most people make the same resolutions every year or set such high estimations of their sticktuitiveness that they are setting themselves up to fail.

resolutions-list

I’ve never been a fan of resolutions. I have goals, sure, long term things I’d like to do or accomplish. But I don’t set out to start something new every January simply because it’s a new year. I always make it my resolution to make no resolutions. And guess what? I always reach my goal.

However, this year, I’m changing things up. I’m going to make some resolutions. I’m going to do some wild and crazy things this year. I’m not sure when, or where, or how, but I’ll blog of them when they happen. Stay tuned.

wild-thing

If you’re a resolution maker – kudos to you and good luck. If you need some ideas for some simple, attainable resolutions, may I suggest a new hobby? Check out the video below for an idea that might work for you.

Happy end of December dear blog followers! Here’s hoping 2017 is fabulous. And here’s to making goals you can stick to.

Do you make resolutions? Do you start every new year on a diet, determined to do better than last year? Are you searching for your inner wild child?

Word of the day: Saxicolous

Fun fact about me: I’ve grown fond of pecans since living in Mississippi.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, December 2016. Video courtesy YouTube (Studio C)

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iced teaWhen we made our decision to move to the south, there were certain things I expected to change about my diet. I anticipated that I would be eating more spicy food; foods with a Cajun or Creole flavor. I knew that gumbo and jambalaya and red beans and rice would be prevalent in most restaurants, along with sweet tea. Let’s not forget about the sweet tea. It is a southern staple. In fact, if you order iced tea and you don’t specify unsweet, you’re probably going to get sweet tea.

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The menopause saga continues folks and let me tell you, it gets weirder and weirder. I have to laugh, because my only other choice is to cry myself into a padded room. And let me start by saying that men definitely got off easier (again) on the whole aging thing. I mean, at mid-life they just buy an expensive sports car and – bam – they’re over it and move on into their golden years.

Women however, we experience mid-life differently. Most get the “usual” physical symptoms, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, bulging bellies. But not me my friends. No sirree, not me, although my belly does bulge a little. I have all of the “other” symptoms. I ones you never hear about.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

Let me explain. For awhile now I’ve been experiencing some strange little things in my body. Things like a sore thumb one day, a sore wrist the next three, creaking knees the following week. No injury, no apparent reason for the pain. And, sometimes while I’m driving, my fingers go numb; my feet often “go to sleep” when I’m watching TV. I’ve also been having extreme vision issues, issues not correctable (or explainable) by my eye doctor. I wear a different bi-focal contact lens in each eye and I still have to wear glasses sometimes. And then there’s days when I just can’t seem to see at all, my vision is so blurry. And my eyes hurt. They feel dry and gritty and they twitch. A lot. But then at night, when I lay down to try to sleep, they water like crazy, soaking my pillow on both sides of my head. What the heck? What is this madness?

Where am I going with this? I’ll tell you. I did some research on WebMD.com for dry eyes and joint pain. Both list possible causes for the ailment and potential remedies. But way down on the list for each problem I found that these conditions may be the result of menopause. Say what? Dry eyes and joint pain are menopause symptoms?

Apparently so. And this created a burning need to research menopause a little deeper, leading me to a long list of “unusual” symptoms of menopause. Holy cow! I have more than half of those “unusual” symptoms. And what’s even funnier are the suggested homeopathic treatments for the symptoms.

Here’s an abbreviated list of lesser known menopause symptoms: loss of bladder control, extreme fatigue, inability to concentrate, tingling extremities, irregular heartbeat, anxiety, weight gain, hair loss, brittle nails, and bloating.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

Here’s a partial list of cures: drink lots of water, exercise, get lots of rest.

Okie dokie. Let’s just back the apple cart up a little bit here shall we?

My symptom is loss of bladder control and you tell me to “drink lots of water?” Really? How is this helpful? I cannot sleep more than two hours at night and you’re telling me that the cure is to “get lots of rest?” Well duh. And wouldn’t that be nice? And you say that more exercise will cure the weight retention and bloating issues? Yeah, maybe under normal conditions, but, I am so freaking tired there is no way in hell I’m going to exercise more.  I can barely get through one 1-hour zumba class a week. Most of my exercise these days consists of getting up from my two-hour nap each night.

And I might experience anxiety. You think? I’m pretty sure that getting only two hours of sleep each night might make me a little — how shall I say this — tense. Not to mention my hair is thinning at an alarming rate. And my heartbeat is so irregular I think I’m having a heart attack and in fact, consider waking my husband up to have him drive me to the emergency room. I’m pretty sure, this symptom would make anyone anxious.

This article is really funny.

I little farther down on this ever-so-helpful site I read that menopause can last anywhere from twelve months to twelve years. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME? Twelve freaking years?!? Nothing anxious about that. Can’t I just buy a Corvette and be rid of it?

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

But here is the kicker my friends; the suggestion that makes me laugh the hardest and longest. The article recommends avoiding alcohol. Seriously? I have 52 things wrong with me and if I drink enough water and get enough exercise and rest in twelve years they MAY go away. But, in those twelve years I’m not to have a drink? Like that’s really going to happen. If there is one thing I really, truly NEED at this very moment in my life, it is alcohol. Please dear God, let me never be out of alcohol. (Unless you bring me a Corvette, then I might reconsider.)

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

So, I know it’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, if you read about your symptoms on the web, you may be enlightened. Or mislead. Or entertained. I was definitely entertained at the end of my on-line research. However, I am a little less worried about all of the little crazy symptoms I’m having. There’s light at the end of the twelve-year tunnel that they may go away. Seems I’m not having a heart attack, I’m simply anxious. And I’m definitely going to try staying up all night exercising and drinking water since, Lord knows, I certainly won’t be sleeping.

So (everybody raise your glass), here’s to aging, hair loss, peeing your pants, being awake all night, slightly overweight, anxious and blurry-eyed. I thank the good Lord every single day that I am generally healthy, happy, mobile, employed, and do not have some horrible debilitating disease, or chronic condition impacting my life in ways too unspeakable to mention here. If getting old means having a few aches and pains and anxiety along the way, so be it. I’ll take every day I am blessed to live. Even without a Corvette.

How about you readers: have you ever experienced any unusual or unexplainable condition that worried you? Do you try to self-diagnose? Do you rely on information you read on the web? Ever find a silly suggestion to fix a problem?

And, if I haven’t told you lately, I am blessed to call you all friends and thankful for your support.

Word of the Day: Nide

Fun fact about me: If it were practical and affordable I would drive an expensive sports car every single day. (And that’s not just the menopause talking.)

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, May 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

Today folks, I’m taking you on a little journey through my e-mail Spam inbox. I’ve taken the partial headings below, in the exact order they appeared in my spam folder, and created some sentences that might make for a very interesting novel. Let me know what you think.

1. No games – several local businesses are looking for – wild cougars looking for horny men – let the madness begin!

2.  If you are not interested in – rapid wrinkle reduction and prevention – why get married?

3.  There’s a secret the legal recruiting industry is keeping – we’re bringing the heat about quick painless toenail fungus.

4.  I want to show you something on my webcam – when divorce isn’t an option – take control of your alcohol problem with – free coupons for oil change.

5.  Now’s the time to become a nurse – we need men that – will kill us if we don’t help – two Russian hotties looking for you.

6.  Pretty women are sharing topless pictures of – a bizarre but safe way to eliminate.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

I don’t know about you, but that last one sure sounds like a photo I’d be better off not seeing. But, I did find this photo that could certainly constitute a “bizarre way to eliminate,” however, I’m not sure how “safe” it would be.

7.  Here’s an easy reason not to get married – we have the cash you need – up to $10,000 – all real, all beautiful, all yours.

8.  Looking for love? – Don’t ignore this – these women will do anything for – lowest prices on digital TV and more.

9.  Unleash your naughty side – no exam required – lucky you!

No exam required to unleash my naughty side? Well sign me up. All these years I’ve been thinking there was going to be a test so I’ve been avoiding anything naughty. Well, not any more my friends. Naughty side – here I come!

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

What interesting stuff have you encountered in your spam box? I’d love to see some creative sentences from your own private spam folders.

Word of the day:  Eisteddfod

Fun fact about me:  I empty my spam folder every day.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, March 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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Today I wanted to share a hilarious video that I’ve stolen from my dear friend Jenny Hansen’s blog. http://wp.me/1sxbT If you don’t follow Jenny, I recommend you at least check it out. She’s a hoot.

I laughed so hard, I almost peed my, not so christian underpants when I saw this video.

I hope you enjoy this little bit of silliness this Monday morning.

So readers, do you wear “good Christian panties with a godly cotton panel?” Come on, spill it. We’re not judgmental here at The Edge of Eternity.

Word of the Day: wherry

Fun Fact About Me: I do not wear thong underpants. (Women of a certain age and body type should refrain from wearing underwear with strings.)

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, January 2015. Video courtesy YouTube.

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So, the all-the-rage Christmas gift this past year was apparently the Fitbit or it’s cousin the Jawbone. If you’re unfamiliar with these little devices, they are designed to help you keep track of your healthy habits. Or so they tout. Personally, I don’t get it, but I’ve noticed a lot more people in my zumba class with these little babies strapped to their wrists.

Photo courtesy Google images.

Photo courtesy Google images.

Now, if you are a lover of these technological devices, and they are “working” for you, please don’t be offended by this post. I love that you’re working on getting or staying healthy. For me, they seem like a gimmick.

First of all, the only people I see wearing these things look like this:

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

If you look like this, you are already are a fit bit of feminie loveliness. You are already doing all of the right things and you don’t need a fancy schmancy device to let you know it. Just carry on you well-toned beautiful women. I love and hate you all.

The number one problem I see right off the bat with a device like this is – you have to remember to put the thing on. That’s going to mess up quite a few people.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

Assuming you remember to strap it on, it’s my understanding that these thingeys tell you the amount of steps you’ve taken. I’m not sure why that’s important. I mean, let’s face it, if I’ve had my ass in a chair all day writing, or in the sofa watching TV or reading, I can pretty much guarantee you that I haven’t taken more than about 16 steps, and those were undoubtedly to the refrigerator for a snack. I really don’t need a device to keep track of that or to remind me of my lethargy. Likewise, if I’ve been working out or jogging I can say, with some certainty based on how much my muscles are screaming and the amount of sweat pouring off my weary body, that I have experienced a good work-out. I don’t really care how many steps I’ve taken; I feel good that I’ve worked out.

The next problem is that these devices don’t hold you accountable. I mean if you set a goal to take 5,000 steps every day, nothing happens if you fall short. If I wear the thing all day and then check my stats when I get home and I’ve only taken 1,100 steps and my goal was 5,000, am I going to go run 16 miles to make up the deficit? Hell no! I’m just going to say, “screw it, I’ll walk more tomorrow,” and go to bed.

Photo courtesy Google images

Photo courtesy Google images

Now, what would be really helpful is if those little wristbands thingeys had pre-recorded messages. What would be exceptionally motivating is for a really annoying voice, like Gilbert Godfry or someone equally nasally and whiny, to say something like, “get moving lard ass,” every time I sat in one place for more than about 10 minutes. Or, “you’re slowing down fatso,” when I switch the treadmill from jog to walk. That would be motivating. However, I do see a potential problem with this, especially if you’re working out at a gym or other public place. You would not want that thing going off and have somebody other than yourself thinking it was directed at them. No sirree, I would not want some Rambo over in free weights to come over and konk me on the head with a 200 pound barbell because my Fitbit offended him.

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Although . . . if he looked like that guy . . . maybe a visit wouldn’t be so bad. Hmmmm.

But I digress. Maybe instead of a pre-recorded message, a squirt of pepper spray to the face every hour could be used. I mean nothing would get me moving faster than pepper spray in my face. Think of the amount of steps you’d take with that crap on your skin. You couldn’t run to the shower fast enough and you’d be dancing a jig the whole time you were in there. Or, every so often a shock treatment like a taser blast could go off to remind you to get up and drink some water. That would get me hopping out of my chair for sure.

That’s right, these puppies supposedly will keep track of how much water I’ve drank during the day. Hmmm. Is that necessary? If I fill my glass 4 times then I can pretty much rely on the fact that I’ve had 4 glasses of water that day. And, taking this one step farther, if I know that my glass is 20 ounces, and I fill it 4 times, then I’ve had – say it with me – 80 ounces of water that day. No device required. And how does that thing distinguish between water and gatorade, or soda, or . . . oh I don’t know . . . wine? ‘Cuz, if it measured wine in-take I’d pretty much meet my quota every single day.

And, supposedly, they keep track of your sleeping habits (again – if you remember to wear them). At the risk of sounding redundant, what is the point of this? If I wake up at 3:00 in the morning and lay there awake for 2 hours, my clock will give me the same information as that little plastic strap on my wrist. I don’t need a device to let me know that I was awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night. Contrarily, if I wake up refreshed, having slept straight through the night, I don’t need to check my wrist to see how I’ve slept. This “feature,” makes no sense to me.

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Photo courtesy Google Images.

I’m thinking a much better electronic device to invest in to ensure good health is one that requires you to solve a trigonometry problem before you can open the cookie jar.  Or do 20 jumping jacks before the refrigerator door will open. I’m thinking that would successfully solve this problem:

Photo courtesy Google images.

Photo courtesy Google images.

How about your dear readers, do you have a Fitbit, Jawbone or similar device? Do you like it? What gadgets would be helpful in your life to keep you fit and healthy?

Fun fact about me: I am not really into fancy techy gadgets.

Word of the Day: Vugh (alternate spelling)

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, January 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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So here it is – 2012!

Happy new year to my loyal followers and welcome to newcomers. I hope your winter holidays were safe and enjoyable. Now let’s get down to some serious business and start the new year right.

New year, new resolutions.  Today we start our diets, we are resolved that we will lose those 10, 20, 30 pounds of holiday reveling. We will go to the gym more often, we will condition our bodies for that marathon we’ve always said we would run. We are done shopping, we will save money. We will volunteer more at our children’s youth activities, in their classrooms, at the homeless shelter. We will finally clean out the garage, our junk drawers, the attic. We will, we will, we will!  But the real question is – for how long?

My resolution has been the same for the past three years – I will not make any resolutions. That way I’m not letting myself down when I stop dieting, stop going to the gym, stop training for the marathon, take one box of old junk from the overstuffed garage to goodwill and call it quits. I know, that’s a cop out. But the reality of it is, several years ago I decided to make more “realistic” resolutions, ones I could actually achieve and therefore feel good about myself. Well, I realized in July or August of that year, that I wasn’t really sticking to my resolutions, I was simply enforcing my habits. If something is a habit, you don’t need to remind yourself to do it. Habits are not resolutions.

So what is a resolution? According to Webster’s New Lexicon Encyclopedic Dictionary of the English Language, a resolution is: The quality of not allowing difficulties or opposition to affect one’s purpose. Hmm. Okay. That said, why do people really give up on or forget about their resolutions? My answer – I become lazy. There are no difficulties preventing me from not stuffing that chocolate bar into my mouth, unless it’s a two pounder that I’m trying to eat all in one mouthful. No one prevents me from going to the gym. There is no opposition to me sitting down in the chair and writing 1,000 words a day. So why is it so hard to stick to the resolutions?

It’s psychological. We psych ourselves out about it. We are so overly adamant that we will do heroic things, that endorphines actually race through our body and pumps us up. We feel fantastic! Nothing will deter us. Then along comes January 15th and we slip a little bit, but we make excuses, like we just need a day off. Then February 1st rolls around and we have to think long and hard about what it is we were supposed to be doing better this year. When we can’t remember, the same adrenaline gushes around in our bodies, frantically looking for justification as to why we quit running, dieting, writing. That adrenaline spikes our nervous system to extreme stress levels and now we feel like horrid lazy bums so we might as well just eat what we want in front of the t.v. and be happy.

Hey, I understand. I’m not here to judge. It’s too dark and cold to be running anyway. It’s not safe and we’ll probably catch pneumonia. We can’t let that one lonely slice of chocolate cake go to waste, after all there’s children starving in India. Sure, we maybe didn’t write 1,000 words today, but hey, we sure thought about the plot and character arcs a lot, that counts for something.

Here’s my advice folks. Slow down, breathe. Enjoy the little things along the way. Have dessert once in a while. So you don’t run a marathon, or lose 20 pounds. Are you healthy and happy? Are you spending quality time with your family? Make a resolution to enjoy life a little more this year. Smell the flowers. Savor the flavor of your food. Hug your kids one extra time every day. Don’t stress on the resolutions. If you’re happy, life is good and you don’t need them anyway.

So those are my sage words of advice for this month. Now tell me, do you, or do you not make resolutions? Are they attainable? Do you feel good or bad if you do or do not attain them?

Word of the day:  Coarctate

Fun fact about me:   I am allergic to salmon.

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