Posted in authors, Baer House Inn, blogging, books, Fiction, fingers, goals, grammar, humor, inspiration, Jansen Schmidt, motivation, On Common Ground, On Hallowed Ground, reading, resolutions, success, words, writers, writing, tagged candles, comfortable, crafts, desk, desk chair, fountains, gentlemen's parlor, incense, ladies parlor, music, office, office space, office supplies, parlor, parlors, private space, scents, sherry, tea, whiskey, writing space, zen on December 9, 2019| 6 Comments »
I kind of have an office now. Sort of. For the past couple of years I’ve been writing either in the kitchen or the basement, neither of which are really conducive for writing. It’s been working, but it’s not comfortable. Or pretty. Sometimes you need pretty.
Posted in blogging, Family, fingers, friends, health, Jansen Schmidt, sports, success, writing, tagged analogies, baseball, caregiver, crisis, emergency, Home, home run, life, life change, little league, normal, parents, pitching, sports, surgery, unexpected, upheaval on July 22, 2019| 8 Comments »
Life is a lot like baseball. I’m not a fan of baseball really, although I did play little league when I was around 12 or so. It was fun. I played second base. I was pretty good. Our team took the second-place trophy the year I played. (I still have my trophy.) I’d like to think it was because of me, but really it was because of our short stop. She was really good. She was the reason we won many of our games. Baseball used to be a normal childhood thing for me. (more…)
Posted in April, authors, blogging, books, Family, Fiction, fingers, friends, goals, humor, Jansen Schmidt, resolutions, success, writers, writing, tagged cheer, cheering up, concentration, Cooking, energy, focused, healing, horse, just do it, manuscript, motivational, normal, positive, publishing, saddle, to do lists, Youtube on April 16, 2018| 14 Comments »
So I’m back in the saddle again. Sort of. I’m not galloping full speed ahead or anything, but I’m chugging along doing normal things. Sort of. I still get tired out but one step at a time. It’s the second Monday in a row that I haven’t had to see a medical professional, so that’s a very good thing. (more…)
Posted in blogging, Family, Fiction, fingers, friends, humor, Jansen Schmidt, love, writing, tagged aches, aging, daily pain, daughters, headaches, injuries, joint pain, mothers, pains, parents, phantom pain, random, sore back, teenager, unexplainable pain on July 31, 2017| 15 Comments »
I remember my mom sometimes complaining about little aches and pains she was experiencing, almost every day. (I’m sure I was the cause of some of those headaches.) Anyway, as a teen-ager I used to think my mom was just saying these things so my brother and I would feel sorry for her and not give her any grief those days because she wasn’t feeling good. I mean, come on, how can someone have a new pain every – single – day? (more…)
Posted in blogging, Family, Fiction, fingers, food, humor, Jansen Schmidt, writing, tagged avocado hand, avocados, bagels, cutting, dangers, doctors, fingers, food dangers, food stickers, hand injuries, idiots, injuries, knife danger, knives, paper cuts, sharp knives, stickers, warning labels on May 22, 2017| 10 Comments »
I truly believe we are surrounded by idiots. For this reason warning labels must now be affixed to EV – RY – THING. Because, in all seriousness, everything is potentially harmful if people don’t possess common sense. (more…)
Posted in April, blogging, Family, Fiction, fingers, friends, goals, humor, Jansen Schmidt, resolutions, writers, writing, tagged being normal, characteristics, facts, fun facts, interesting facts, interesting stuff, me, normal, odd characteristics, people, personalities, personality quirks, quirks, quirky, random, weird, weird facts, you on May 1, 2017| 9 Comments »
Most of you know that at the end of every one of my blogs, I post a “fun fact” about myself. I don’t really know how “fun” those facts are to you, but to me, they’re just random silliness about my quirky self. My way of sharing my personality with you. (more…)
Posted in authors, beauty products, blogging, Family, Fiction, fingers, friends, humor, Jansen Schmidt, short story, success, words, writers, writing, tagged airport bathrooms, airports, automated sinks, automated soap dispensers, automated toilets, bathrooms, luggage, paper towels, submarine, submarine toilet, toilets on October 12, 2015| 13 Comments »
Photo courtesy Google Images.
Since when has using a toilet become so complicated that we need self-flushing devices? As toddlers, we learn the basics of toilet operation. Have we evolved to the point of complete helplessness? What’s up with the self-flushing toilets? Are these really necessary? I get it, that some people are lame and don’t flush after they do their business, but does that justify needing self-flushing toilets for everyone? I mean, how hard is it to flush a toilet?
I’ve found that most of these “modern” models don’t even flush when they’re supposed to. Or worse yet, some flush repeatedly; over and over and over. How much water is wasted from these continually flushing engineering wonders? Have you ever been quietly sitting on one of these self-flushing jobbies and have it flush before you’re done? It’s downright frightening. Not only do you get a wake up call, but your bottom gets a wash job. You also have a terrifying moment wondering if you’re going to get sucked into a deep dark vortex of sewage. Heaven help you if you were wiping at that very moment. Sit carefully my friends and once in position – do not move.
Image courtesy Google Images.
Now from the horrors of the stall, we move to the downright silliness of the automated sinks and soap dispensers. Okay, I’ll admit, the automated sinks are a nice feature, especially at the airport where you’re toting around a handbag or backpack and 50 pounds of luggage, it’s nice to just stick you hands under the faucet. But, first you must find the exact spot of the sensor to engage the water. Sometimes this is like sticking a square peg into a triangle hole with all the finageling and finger waving you must do. Some sinks are like a math problem, finding the right angle of entry and quadrant for positioning from the faucet so you don’t get your midriff sprayed at the same time. Again, I wonder at the need for these faucets? Who can’t figure out how to operate a basic bathroom sink?
Photo courtesy Google Images.
Once you’ve found the correct entry point for the water, you must do the same with the soap dispenser and then hold very still while you lather up and rinse because, if you move your forearm or wrist just enough, you’ll get another squirt of soap on your sleeve and then have to re-calculate faucet entry again. Please dear readers, be very careful at the sink station. Apparently we’ve raising a society of really stupid people who can’t seem to figure out how to dispense soap.
And finally, we arrive at the paper towel area which is ususally surrounded by a huge pool of water from dripping hands and sleeves and midriffs while people frantically wave their arms in front of the machine to get the paper to come out. Now, if you’re lucky at the paper towal dispenser, you’ll get more than a 3 inch strip of toweling with which to dry your hands and soaking sleeves, still sudsy from the over-achieving soap dispenser. If you’re not so lucky, you’ll need to wait a few seconds and wave your arms again for a second equally small slice of paper. Do this enough times and you’re hands will have drip dried onto the floor and there won’t be any need for additional stips of towel. Perhaps that’s the ultimate goal of these stingy dispensers; simply let the hands air dry.
Photo courtesy Google Images
And so I ask, are these devices making our lives easier? Do you prefer automated bathrooms or good old-fashioned hands on restrooms? I’d love to hear your automated bathroom story. Don’t be bashful, let’s get this out in the open and discuss it.
Word of the Day: Hegira
Fun Fact about me: Like Laverne (Laverne & Shirley), I like milk and Pepsi.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, October 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.
Posted in authors, beer, blogging, dieting, drinks, driving, Family, Fiction, fingers, food, friends, humor, Jansen Schmidt, watching tv, words, writers, writing, tagged aging, alcohol, anxiety, bladder control, Corvette, dry eyes, menopause, mid-life, mid-life crisis, sleeplessness, WebMD, weight gain on May 25, 2015| 20 Comments »
The menopause saga continues folks and let me tell you, it gets weirder and weirder. I have to laugh, because my only other choice is to cry myself into a padded room. And let me start by saying that men definitely got off easier (again) on the whole aging thing. I mean, at mid-life they just buy an expensive sports car and – bam – they’re over it and move on into their golden years.
Women however, we experience mid-life differently. Most get the “usual” physical symptoms, hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, bulging bellies. But not me my friends. No sirree, not me, although my belly does bulge a little. I have all of the “other” symptoms. I ones you never hear about.
Photo courtesy Google Images
Let me explain. For awhile now I’ve been experiencing some strange little things in my body. Things like a sore thumb one day, a sore wrist the next three, creaking knees the following week. No injury, no apparent reason for the pain. And, sometimes while I’m driving, my fingers go numb; my feet often “go to sleep” when I’m watching TV. I’ve also been having extreme vision issues, issues not correctable (or explainable) by my eye doctor. I wear a different bi-focal contact lens in each eye and I still have to wear glasses sometimes. And then there’s days when I just can’t seem to see at all, my vision is so blurry. And my eyes hurt. They feel dry and gritty and they twitch. A lot. But then at night, when I lay down to try to sleep, they water like crazy, soaking my pillow on both sides of my head. What the heck? What is this madness?
Where am I going with this? I’ll tell you. I did some research on WebMD.com for dry eyes and joint pain. Both list possible causes for the ailment and potential remedies. But way down on the list for each problem I found that these conditions may be the result of menopause. Say what? Dry eyes and joint pain are menopause symptoms?
Apparently so. And this created a burning need to research menopause a little deeper, leading me to a long list of “unusual” symptoms of menopause. Holy cow! I have more than half of those “unusual” symptoms. And what’s even funnier are the suggested homeopathic treatments for the symptoms.
Here’s an abbreviated list of lesser known menopause symptoms: loss of bladder control, extreme fatigue, inability to concentrate, tingling extremities, irregular heartbeat, anxiety, weight gain, hair loss, brittle nails, and bloating.
Photo courtesy Google Images
Here’s a partial list of cures: drink lots of water, exercise, get lots of rest.
Okie dokie. Let’s just back the apple cart up a little bit here shall we?
My symptom is loss of bladder control and you tell me to “drink lots of water?” Really? How is this helpful? I cannot sleep more than two hours at night and you’re telling me that the cure is to “get lots of rest?” Well duh. And wouldn’t that be nice? And you say that more exercise will cure the weight retention and bloating issues? Yeah, maybe under normal conditions, but, I am so freaking tired there is no way in hell I’m going to exercise more. I can barely get through one 1-hour zumba class a week. Most of my exercise these days consists of getting up from my two-hour nap each night.
And I might experience anxiety. You think? I’m pretty sure that getting only two hours of sleep each night might make me a little — how shall I say this — tense. Not to mention my hair is thinning at an alarming rate. And my heartbeat is so irregular I think I’m having a heart attack and in fact, consider waking my husband up to have him drive me to the emergency room. I’m pretty sure, this symptom would make anyone anxious.
This article is really funny.
I little farther down on this ever-so-helpful site I read that menopause can last anywhere from twelve months to twelve years. ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME? Twelve freaking years?!? Nothing anxious about that. Can’t I just buy a Corvette and be rid of it?
Photo courtesy Google Images
But here is the kicker my friends; the suggestion that makes me laugh the hardest and longest. The article recommends avoiding alcohol. Seriously? I have 52 things wrong with me and if I drink enough water and get enough exercise and rest in twelve years they MAY go away. But, in those twelve years I’m not to have a drink? Like that’s really going to happen. If there is one thing I really, truly NEED at this very moment in my life, it is alcohol. Please dear God, let me never be out of alcohol. (Unless you bring me a Corvette, then I might reconsider.)
Photo courtesy Google Images
So, I know it’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, but seriously, if you read about your symptoms on the web, you may be enlightened. Or mislead. Or entertained. I was definitely entertained at the end of my on-line research. However, I am a little less worried about all of the little crazy symptoms I’m having. There’s light at the end of the twelve-year tunnel that they may go away. Seems I’m not having a heart attack, I’m simply anxious. And I’m definitely going to try staying up all night exercising and drinking water since, Lord knows, I certainly won’t be sleeping.
So (everybody raise your glass), here’s to aging, hair loss, peeing your pants, being awake all night, slightly overweight, anxious and blurry-eyed. I thank the good Lord every single day that I am generally healthy, happy, mobile, employed, and do not have some horrible debilitating disease, or chronic condition impacting my life in ways too unspeakable to mention here. If getting old means having a few aches and pains and anxiety along the way, so be it. I’ll take every day I am blessed to live. Even without a Corvette.
How about you readers: have you ever experienced any unusual or unexplainable condition that worried you? Do you try to self-diagnose? Do you rely on information you read on the web? Ever find a silly suggestion to fix a problem?
And, if I haven’t told you lately, I am blessed to call you all friends and thankful for your support.
Word of the Day: Nide
Fun fact about me: If it were practical and affordable I would drive an expensive sports car every single day. (And that’s not just the menopause talking.)
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, May 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.
Posted in authors, awards, beauty products, blogging, Fiction, fingers, food, humor, Jansen Schmidt, Jenny Hansen, musical theater, Uncategorized, underwear, words, writers, writing, tagged baby hanger, crazy inventions, creativity, eyes on pants, genius, glass, handerpants, lap, lipstick, nap, picnic pants, pizza, pizza cutter, wacky stuff, weird inventions on April 6, 2015| 18 Comments »
I’m a writer. Writer’s tend to be overly creative people. We have overactive imaginations. We think differently than others. We see the world from a different perspective. We hate math.
Did you just shutter at the graphic? Did your eyes glaze over? Did you automatically say “24” after the first line because the multiplication tables were drilled into your head in the 5th grade? Well, you might be a creative person.
It’s no surprise. A lot of folks are creative. For instance, musicians, actors, artists, all rely heavily on the right sides of their brain. It’s the left-brainers you have to worry about. But sometimes I have to wonder, should we limit the extent of our creativity? I know that goes against the whole premise of this blog (“Where imagination abounds, nothing is impossible”), but hear me out. Consider these wacky inventions, then I’ll ask the question again:
I’ve got to admit, that last one is genius. (Does that make me a bad person?) But seriously, how can anybody holding a baby properly wash their hands after using the restroom? I’m sure this invention was created by a man; I’m just sure of it.
And so folks, after seeing just a minuscule display of the wacky stuff that people “create,” do you want to change your answer? Should creativity have limits? Or do you agree with me, that maybe we should just put a boundary restriction on inventors. Yeah, that’s it.
What’s the craziest invention you’ve come across? Have you ever purchased something “clever” to make your life easier? Do you want any of the above items for yourself? Hey, I won’t judge.
Word of the Day: Guipure
Fun fact about me: I love starfruit.
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, April 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.
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