Sensible Shoes

I don’t know about you, but I love shoes. Always have. I’m somewhat of a collector, or at least I used to be. Since high school I’ve had office jobs and since high school I’ve worn high heels. Used to be, the higher the better. Shoes make a statement and I was bold.

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“I’m Watching That!”

So I’ve recently discovered that my husband has a super power. He can see through cement walls. I didn’t know this about him until we moved into the new house, which is primarily cinderblock on the bottom floor, the floor with the living room and t.v.

You see, at my house, whenever my husband is home, the t.v. is almost always on, whether he is watching it or not. I do not understand this habit, but I have learned to live with it. I prefer quiet. No t.v., no radio, no talking. It’s blissful. (Plus it helps me hear the voices in my head, which, as you authors know, is vital if we want to succeed.) But, I love my husband dearly and so I’ve learned to accept the constant yammering away from the black box in the living room.

Here’s where I get a little cranky about the constant presence of the t.v. – when he’s not even in the house! I’m not talking about the minute or two jaunts when he goes outside to get firewood in, or to take the trash out. No I’m talking about when he goes out to mow the lawn, or play with the dog, or talk on the phone. (You see, he has to go outside to talk on the phone because it’s easier to hear outside without the t.v. noise distracting him.) Hmmmm.

But, I digress.

So out he goes to mow the lawn, which I love about him. He takes awesome care of the lawn and yard. But . . . turn the damn t.v. off when you go! He’s outside for half an hour or longer if I’m especially tolerant, when I’ve finally had enough and turn the set off. Two seconds later he comes barrelling in the front door. “I’m watching that!”

Really?

How the hell did he even know I turned it off? It’s ah-ma-zing! Every time. Whether I turn it off or just mute it, he always races in and proclaims that he is completely aware of what’s going on with the game, the race, the movie, whatever. Even the debate where everyone is talking on top of everyone else, he knows exactly what’s being said.

Which leads me to believe that apparently when this super power kicks in, it is accompanied by bionic ears because he is also able to hear despite the whirring of the lawn mower. They are apparently conjoint super powers, but only work in an exact set of circumstances because the heightened sense of hearing does not seem to work when I speak to my husband from another room. Perhaps it’s the sound of the lawn mower that engages this united super force.

It’s scary really. I’m a little creeped out by it. Especially since he can’t find anything in the refrigerator or pantry even if it’s right in front on the top shelf. With his uncanny sense of x-ray vision, I’d think he’d be able to see just about anything in plain sight. Perhaps I’ll put the refrigerator behind a cement wall. And turn on the lawn mower when I have something important to say. Hmmm.

And because I know my husband reads my blog (he’s awesome that way), I’m reiterating that I love him very much. He’s just got his . . . quirks.

So, how about you? Does your spouse have a super power? Does your significant other always have the t.v. on? Does it bother you? Do you prefer quiet, or do you need white noise? Inquiring minds want to know.

Word of the day: kibitzer

Fun fact about me: I know all the lyrics to the Pirates of the Caribbean song.

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