Don’t Joke About the Bible

I know I live down here in the Bible Belt, where you can’t swing a cat without hitting a church, but I had no idea until recently just how seriously these Southern folks are about their Bibles, Jesus and going to church. (They’re also very serious about their mamas, sweet tea, Coca-Cola, and dessert, but that’s a whole different post.)

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A Poet I am Not

It’s national poetry month, or so my calendar tells me. That means nothing to me, except for the fact that I’m neither a poet nor a fan of poetry.

However, I do appreciate some literary works that technically fall into the poetry category. For instance, I do like some of Walt Whitman’s works, especially his Leaves of Grass. While I don’t get all gushy and weep at the words and the way they are arranged on the page, I do feel “moved,” be reading certain passages.

So, in honor of national poetry month, and my simple-minded understanding of Walt Whitman’s compositions, here goes my tribute:

“Love the earth and sun and the animals, despise riches, give alms to every one that asks, stand up for the stupid and crazy, devote your income and labor to others, hate tyrants, argue not concerning God, have patience and indulgence toward the people, take off your hat to nothing known or unknown or to any man or number of men, go freely with powerful uneducated persons and with the young and with the mothers of families, read these leaves in the open air every season of every year of your life, re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book, dismiss whatever insults your own soul, and your very flesh shall be a great poem and have the richest fluency not only in its words but in the silent lines of its lips and face and between the lashes of your eyes and in every motion and joint of your body . . . .” (Leaves of Grass)

My favorite part of that: “re-examine all you have been told at school or church or in any book.” Love that. And now I’m off to stand up for the stupid and the crazies.

Happy April followers and friends. In my opinion, the picture above is nature’s poetry. Wouldn’t you agree?

Do you enjoy poetry? Do you understand poetry? What’s your take on the excerpt above?

Word of the day: Gabelle

Fun fact about me: I once had a literary agent tell me my manuscript was too poetic. Ha! I scoff at her analysis.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, April 2016. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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Stuff I never said in California

It’s a new year and here in Vicksburg, it still has the new year smell. I’ve been settling in here in Mississippi and loving every minute of it. Well, maybe not every single minute, we did have the hot snap in December (80 degrees at Christmas?), but for the most part, LOVING it! (The irony of that is that where I used to live in California, they had snow on Christmas day for the first time in like 12 years. Go figure.)

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Anyway, they definitely do things different here in the south. For instance, when I went to get my new driver’s license, they handed it to me right then and there. No waiting weeks for it to arrive in the mail, hoping it didn’t get lost or stolen. No written or driving test. Nothing. Just, “here you go.” I didn’t even have to wait in line at the DMV. (And – bonus – it’s right across the street so I could walk over.)

Same thing with the car registration; I walked in, handed them some basic paperwork and BAM, they handed me a bright shiny new license plate. On the spot. No waiting. No mailing. Again, I walked right up to the window. No taking a number, no standing in line, no internet appointment necessary.

I know – weird. All my California folks will know exactly what I’m talking about.

And here’s a strange thing – daily operations here cease on holidays and Sundays. No signs posted in the windows, no ads announcing holiday hours, just lights out and locked doors. That took some getting used to. If you want to go out to eat on Sunday, you have about one choice – Cracker Barrel. (Or the casinos – need I say more.) I think that’s kind of cool though. A lot of guests here at the inn don’t get it, but I’m getting used to it. Sundays are church and family days.

Photo courtesy Google Images.

I also find myself saying things here that I never imagined I’d ever say in California. Here’s a short list:

1 – There’s an alligator in the backyard. (No, this hasn’t happened but it’s entirely possible and even very probable with the river already above flood stage. Stay tuned.)

2 – We have to get ready for Mardi Gras. (That’s right, even though we’re 2 1/2 hours away from New Orleans, Mardi Gras’s a big deal here.)

3 – Are you taking the Trace? (Referring to the Natchez Trace highway. It’s basically “the back road.” Not sure why it’s called a Trace, but it is and I like saying it. For more information visit here: http://www.nps.gov/natr/index.htm)

4 – It’s time to polish the silver again. (Really? Polish silver? Yup. About every 3 months that stuff has to be shined up.)

5- I’m in the parlor. (The parlor? How cool does that sound? Who even has a parlor these days?)

6 – This ballroom is hard to heat. (I have a freaking ballroom!!)

7 – You want to see my outhouse? (See this post https://jansenschmidt.wordpress.com/2015/11/30/a-peek-at-my-rare-2-story-4-hole-outhouse/ for more details in case you missed it earlier.)

Photo courtesy Google Images.

How about you readers, ever find yourself saying things that sounded foreign at one time, but now seem natural? Ever been on the Natchez Trace? Ever polished silver? Inquiring minds want to know.

Word of the Day: Uraeus

Fun fact about me: I want to host a ball. Seriously, I want to have a ball in my ballroom.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, January 2016. Photos courtesy Google Imgaes.

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I See London, I See France, I See Godly Underpants?

Today I wanted to share a hilarious video that I’ve stolen from my dear friend Jenny Hansen’s blog. http://wp.me/1sxbT If you don’t follow Jenny, I recommend you at least check it out. She’s a hoot.

I laughed so hard, I almost peed my, not so christian underpants when I saw this video.

I hope you enjoy this little bit of silliness this Monday morning.

So readers, do you wear “good Christian panties with a godly cotton panel?” Come on, spill it. We’re not judgmental here at The Edge of Eternity.

Word of the Day: wherry

Fun Fact About Me: I do not wear thong underpants. (Women of a certain age and body type should refrain from wearing underwear with strings.)

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, January 2015. Video courtesy YouTube.

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December Hodgepodge – What Haven’t I?

Image courtesy Google

Okay, I know it’s been a while since you’ve seen a post about my crazy life experiences, so here’s the final What Haven’t I for the year.

Country church. Photo courtesy Google Images

By now you should all know the rules, but just in case you’re new here – and if so welcome new friend – here’s the low down: Post your guesses in the comments section below. Three of the answers are things that I have actually done, one is something I have not done. Your job is to guess what I haven’t. It’s simple, but you can’t win if you don’t play so put on those guessing caps and get to work.

By way of reminder, the first person to post another comment on the 12th, regardless of how many guesses they got right, AND the best guesser (person with the most correct answers) will both be awarded prizes. If you got the most correct answers, but you fail to check back, your prize will be forfeited, so it’s important to check back.

Let’s just get right to it.

1 – What haven’t I made from scratch: a) doughnuts; b) lemon curd; c) Hollandaise sauce; or d) candy apples?

2 – What haven’t I built: a) a bookcase; b) a doll house; c) a snowman; or d) a gingerbread house?

3 – What malady haven’t I suffered: a) shingles; b) measles; c) mono; or d) chicken pox?

4 – What haven’t I lost money on: a) baccarat; b) poker; c) craps; or d) roulette?

5 – What church haven’t I visited for services: a) Mormon; b) Jehovah’s Witness; c) 7th Day Adventist; or d) Catholic?

The answers will be posted in the comments section on December 12, so mark your calendars and check back to see if you’re a winner. Remember, the fastest and the best guesser will both be awarded prizes.

Word of the day: Regosol

Fun fact about me: I have played a nun both on stage and on screen.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt December 2013. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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