The Misadventures of Johnny One Shoe

Photo courtesy Google Images.

I drive a lot. Every day I have a 45 minute commute to work and every day I have a 45 minute, or longer, commute back home. It feels like I’m on the road all the time. I try different routes to prevent boredom and I make up songs and silly games while I’m driving to keep myself entertained. One of my favorite ways to liven up the drive is to think up clever stories for items I see abandoned along the road.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Here in California, litter is quite prevalent and if something falls off the turnip truck, the turnip truck driver just keeps driving as though he meant for the item to slide off his vehicle and crash into the road. Other crazy screw balls deliberately stop along the side of lesser used roads to dispose of unwanted items. I see a wide variety of things along just about every road I traverse to and from work. Everything from throw pillows to refrigerators, ladders, mattresses, and so on.

But, the one item that always puzzles me is that one shoe. You never see a pair of shoes, just one all by its lonesome. Why only one? I have multiple theories, but this week, I’m curious to hear your thoughts about the lone shoe lying along the side (or in the middle) of the road. Tell me readers, how do you think that shoe got there?

I’m going to award a prize to the person with the most creative and/or humorous one shoe story. So put those creative thinking caps on and leave me your one shoe theory in a comment below. I’ll choose my favorite and announce it at the end of the week.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Have fun. I’m looking forward to your ideas!

Word of the Day:  Hustings

Fun Fact About Me: One of my favorite college classes was a mining history class where we got to go exploring in old mines.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, April 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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Really?

 

Photo courtesy Google Images

I got the idea for this post a couple of weeks after reading a post on Phil, “The Regular Guy, NYC,s,” blog about laughing at winter morons in the big apple. Here’s the link if you want to check it out: http://blog.theregularguynyc.com/karma-schadenfreude-and-laughing-at-winter-morons-in-nyc/

So often these days I find myself saying, “really?” As in, “Did I really just hear you say that?” or “You aren’t really going to do that?” Of course, that is a rhetorical question because obviously the answer is yes, otherwise I wouldn’t even need to be questioning the stupid activity.

For instance, on my morning commute there is almost always some idiot — usually more than one — on the road who gets the rolling-eyed question, “Really?” You know who these people are; the person driving 50 mph in the slow lane with a string of 100 cars behind them. Then after you merge into the fast lane to pass them, they speed up to about 95. You know who I’m talking about. You get up next to them, doing about 80 in an attempt to go past them and they just keep going faster. Really?

Photo courtesy Google Images

Or the opposite, some bozo who goes flying past you about 85, then pulls over in front of you and slows down to 60. Really? WTF?

And then this: Last week I had a few extra minutes one morning (because obviously I must have forgotten to do something before I left the house), so I decided that if, when I got to Starbuck’s, there wasn’t a line at the drive through, I’d pull in and pick up some breakfast. Eureka! Luck was on my side, only one car at the ordering window! I swung in there followed immediately by a big ole SUV, thus trapping me in. No worries, I’m the second car in line. Won’t take long at all.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Wrong. So, so wrong my friends. As car number one was taking forever to order at the speaker sign thingey, I muttered to myself, “please know what you to order before getting in line.” Well dear readers, it turns out this woman did know what she wanted. She also knew what 27 other people wanted, as I found out at the pick-up window, where she got so many drinks she had to get out of her car to stack them in the back seat. And then — here’s the kicker — she wanted to pay for each order separately. REALLY!!!!! No freaking way?

So much for my few extra minutes. I was now going to be 10 minutes late. Holy venti mocha lattes, what the heck are people thinking? I mean — really?

What craziness drives you to the point of — really? What activities make you scratch your head, squint your eyes and want to bang your forehead on something really hard?

Word of the Day: Buccal

Fun Fact About Me:  I love Chinese food.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, February 2015. Photos courtesty Google Images.

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