I know what you’re thinking, but this post is not going there.
No sirree. Not. Going. There.
When I say “redneck,” I’m not talking about the banjo-strumming hillbillies sitting in hand-hewn hickory rockers on a dilapidated front porch in the backwoods. Nor am I referring to the toothless woman living in the single-wide trailer perched on cinder blocks wearing a housecoat and curlers and toting a sawed off shotgun to protect her still hidden back in the holler. Nope, I’m talking about the redneck that lives inside each and every one of us.
That’s right. There’s a little bit of redneck in us all. For some, if might be way down deep, but it’s in there.
Take me for example. I’m hardly anyone’s vision of a redneck. Yet I have discovered that in times of need, that little redneck trait comes in handy.
You all know I just bought a house. Well, with a new house comes the need to fix-up and/or change some things to make it just exactly the way you want it. That usually involves new paint, new carpet, perhaps new cabinets in the kitchen. My new house is no different. But, having just bought the house, there is not a whole lot of money left in the coffers for these “fix-ups.” So . . . we improvise.
My new house has no window coverings. When we moved out of my dad’s house we left the window coverings. So, we have no window coverings. Until we save enough money for the new wood blinds ($2,400) we’re improvising. Here is my bedroom window, complete with redneck curtain:
An old sheet fits the bill nicely at night and when tied neatly in the middle with a bandana, offers a remarkable amount of sunlight to warm the bedroom with coziness during the day.
And here is my fancy, smanchy door covering for the French door in the bedroom:
A lot of folks would just throw out that old worn out beach towel, but not me. Nope I save such things for these occasions because I know there’s that little bit of redneck in me that just might require an old beach towel at some point. Like now. It’s perfect for providing privacy and darkness at night and easily removed during the day for delightful views of our lovely yard.
And for that tree in the yard that’s been sadly neglected, here’s a redneck quick fix to keep it from completely snapping off:
Yup, those are lead ropes no longer used as horse tack. When hooked together they make a very nice redneck tree keeper-upper.
So you’re all thinking, “Yup, she’s definitely a little bit redneck.” But that’s okay because I know there’s a little bit of hillbilly in each of you too. Stop gasping and hear me out. Who here has not used duct tape to fix something? Come on, hands in the air. Who doesn’t love duct tape? Especially nowadays when it comes in such lovely fashionable colors instead of basic silver.
Like it or not folks, whenever you use the duct tape, you’re showing your redneck tendencies. Duct tape was made by hillbillies for hillbillies. Don’t get me wrong – duct tape is amazing! It can fix dang near anything. It’s affordable. And you can find it just about anywhere. Here are some examples of the “only-a-little-bit-redneck” way to use duct tape:
And here are some examples of how using duct tape:
is
just
Wrong.
So use the duct tape my friends, but use it wisely lest you find yourself right smack dab in the middle of Redneckville!
So that’s my blog for this month. I’d love to hear from you all about your sojourns into redneckville or your experiences with duct tape. Don’t be shy. Embrace your inner redneck! I have.
Word of the day: Interrobang
Fun fact about me: My husband and I were each married to a different person on exactly the same day 26 years ago.
jansenschmidt 