Stairs Are Hard

In case you haven’t figured it out already, I own an historic home. It was built in 1870, which means, it has stairs. It also means it has no elevator. Because, guess what? There were no elevators in 1870. The first electric elevator didn’t come into existence until 1887. (That’s your history lesson for the day.)

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The Absurdity of Home Buyers

You’d think by now, I’d be accustomed to being surrounded by stupid people. Let’s face it, they’re everywhere. Even really smart people, sometimes do something stupid. I’m guilty of this myself. But, what I don’t get are people who either state the obvious, or ignore the obvious. People who seem relatively intelligent but continually do questionable things.

I am particularly irked by these people lately because my house has been on the market for quite a few weeks now and we keep getting these stupid folks coming by to see our house. We get the same feedback from agent after agent about something that shouldn’t even be an issue to begin with.

Let’s start here.

Photo by P. Rickrode – March 2015.

That is a picture of my house, the picture listed on every listing source out there. When I see this picture, I can clearly see several things, that should be very obvious to any prospective buyer. 1) We live in the woods; 2) We have a fireplace; 3) We have more than one deck.

And, 4) This is very obviously a two-story house. You don’t need a Ph.D to see that. Nor do you need to be an engineer to figure that out from looking at this picture. Yet, more than half of the folks who have traipsed through my house these past several weeks, complain that the house has stairs. Well, no shit, Sherlock. Take a look at the picture again. Can you not see that this is a two-story house from this picture?

Maybe this one will make it more obvious.

Photo by P. Rickrode – March 2015

Time and time again, real estate agents tell us that their clients aren’t interested in our house because they don’t want to deal with stairs. Well, my silent response is, “Then why in God’s name did you even bother coming and looking at it?” And then I add, “You’re a $*&@ing idiot.”

This is how I imagine the agent’s client must look.

Photo courtesy Google Images

I know that’s mean, but seriously, what are these people thinking? Do they think that these exterior shots have been photoshopped for sale purposes? Does it maybe present as an optical illusion when they view it on their computer screens? Do they think we have an elevator? Do they think that we have somehow stumbled upon a means of teleporting from one level to another? What? What brings these haters of stairs to our house in the first place? It’s like they drive up, park, ooohhh and ahhhh over the property, love the living room and kitchen, but then they see the stairs and go:

Photo courtesy Google Images.

I don’t get it. I mean I get that people don’t want to deal with stairs, or maybe can’t handle stairs because of mobility issues or whatever, but I can’t for the life of me imagine why they even add our house to their “must see” list. It’s crazy. I think we’re going to add a “tip” in the special instructions box of the listing, “If you don’t like stairs, don’t come by.” Sheesh. Wise up people and stop wasting my time. And here’s another little tip: I’ve seen some of the folks who have viewed our home, and let’s just say that some of them would no doubt benefit from taking the stairs now and then, if you know what I mean. Just sayin’. In fact, I’m thinking we should consider adding that as our new selling feature; agents can lead prospective clients to the staircase and say, “And here’s the built-in work-out room.”

So readers, what’s your peeve lately? What recurring stupidity gets your blood boiling? Am I the only one who can see that my house is a two-story house? I’d love to hear from you.

Word of the Day: Pongee

Fun fact about me: I don’t have a problem with stairs. In fact, I’ll often take them instead of an elevator.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, June 2015. Original photos by P. Rickrode. Other photos courtesy Google Images.

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