Life Derailed

Everything has been out of whack. Our city is almost back to being fully operational, which is a good thing. The only real restrictions are for large gatherings. But that doesn’t mean things are back to normal. Of course, there are the usual “new normal” things, like wearing masks and such, but even those things are more or less “recommendations” here and not actual requirements. We’ve never really had a huge volume of COVID cases in our county to start with, so everyone is just being cautious but going about their business. No real fanatics here.

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My Pants Are Shrinking!

Over the past few months, like so many other people, I’ve been doing a lot of extra eating. Mostly stress eating. I’m sometimes careful with my food choices, but usually I don’t give a fig how much butter, sugar, carbohydrates and chemical preservatives are in the food. Hand me a bag of chips and that’s the last you’ll see of them. Give me a can of cashews, those babies will be gone. Dill pickles are devoured like candy. I guess you see the trend here – salt! It’s all about the salt.

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It’s That Time of Year Again.

It’s the beginning of a brand spanking shiny new year, full of hope and promise. That means, out with the old habits and in with the new resolutions. Lose weight, exercise more, eat healthier, save more money, blah, blah, blah. You all know the drill.

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New Year – New Goals – New Determination!

It’s almost January – let the dieting, working out, eating healthier, spending less, drinking less, and other awesome goals begin! Here’s to a good two weeks of purging the old habits and staying focused on those resolutions. Mark my words, by the end of January there will be a noticeable decline in gym attendance and longer lines at the burger joint drive through windows.

Resolutions are wonderful; however, rarely attainable. Most people make the same resolutions every year or set such high estimations of their sticktuitiveness that they are setting themselves up to fail.

I’ve never been a fan of resolutions. I have goals, sure, long term things I’d like to do or accomplish. But I don’t set out to start something new every January simply because it’s a new year. I always make it my resolution to make no resolutions. And guess what? I always reach my goal.

However, this year, I’m changing things up. I’m going to make some resolutions. I’m going to do some wild and crazy things this year. I’m not sure when, or where, or how, but I’ll blog of them when they happen. Stay tuned.

If you’re a resolution maker – kudos to you and good luck. If you need some ideas for some simple, attainable resolutions, may I suggest a new hobby? Check out the video below for an idea that might work for you.

Happy end of December dear blog followers! Here’s hoping 2017 is fabulous. And here’s to making goals you can stick to.

Do you make resolutions? Do you start every new year on a diet, determined to do better than last year? Are you searching for your inner wild child?

Word of the day: Saxicolous

Fun fact about me: I’ve grown fond of pecans since living in Mississippi.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, December 2016. Video courtesy YouTube (Studio C)

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Fitbit, Jawbone, Gimmick – You Decide

So, the all-the-rage Christmas gift this past year was apparently the Fitbit or it’s cousin the Jawbone. If you’re unfamiliar with these little devices, they are designed to help you keep track of your healthy habits. Or so they tout. Personally, I don’t get it, but I’ve noticed a lot more people in my zumba class with these little babies strapped to their wrists.

Photo courtesy Google images.

Now, if you are a lover of these technological devices, and they are “working” for you, please don’t be offended by this post. I love that you’re working on getting or staying healthy. For me, they seem like a gimmick.

First of all, the only people I see wearing these things look like this:

Photo courtesy Google Images

If you look like this, you are already are a fit bit of feminie loveliness. You are already doing all of the right things and you don’t need a fancy schmancy device to let you know it. Just carry on you well-toned beautiful women. I love and hate you all.

The number one problem I see right off the bat with a device like this is – you have to remember to put the thing on. That’s going to mess up quite a few people.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Assuming you remember to strap it on, it’s my understanding that these thingeys tell you the amount of steps you’ve taken. I’m not sure why that’s important. I mean, let’s face it, if I’ve had my ass in a chair all day writing, or in the sofa watching TV or reading, I can pretty much guarantee you that I haven’t taken more than about 16 steps, and those were undoubtedly to the refrigerator for a snack. I really don’t need a device to keep track of that or to remind me of my lethargy. Likewise, if I’ve been working out or jogging I can say, with some certainty based on how much my muscles are screaming and the amount of sweat pouring off my weary body, that I have experienced a good work-out. I don’t really care how many steps I’ve taken; I feel good that I’ve worked out.

The next problem is that these devices don’t hold you accountable. I mean if you set a goal to take 5,000 steps every day, nothing happens if you fall short. If I wear the thing all day and then check my stats when I get home and I’ve only taken 1,100 steps and my goal was 5,000, am I going to go run 16 miles to make up the deficit? Hell no! I’m just going to say, “screw it, I’ll walk more tomorrow,” and go to bed.

Photo courtesy Google images

Now, what would be really helpful is if those little wristbands thingeys had pre-recorded messages. What would be exceptionally motivating is for a really annoying voice, like Gilbert Godfry or someone equally nasally and whiny, to say something like, “get moving lard ass,” every time I sat in one place for more than about 10 minutes. Or, “you’re slowing down fatso,” when I switch the treadmill from jog to walk. That would be motivating. However, I do see a potential problem with this, especially if you’re working out at a gym or other public place. You would not want that thing going off and have somebody other than yourself thinking it was directed at them. No sirree, I would not want some Rambo over in free weights to come over and konk me on the head with a 200 pound barbell because my Fitbit offended him.

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Although . . . if he looked like that guy . . . maybe a visit wouldn’t be so bad. Hmmmm.

But I digress. Maybe instead of a pre-recorded message, a squirt of pepper spray to the face every hour could be used. I mean nothing would get me moving faster than pepper spray in my face. Think of the amount of steps you’d take with that crap on your skin. You couldn’t run to the shower fast enough and you’d be dancing a jig the whole time you were in there. Or, every so often a shock treatment like a taser blast could go off to remind you to get up and drink some water. That would get me hopping out of my chair for sure.

That’s right, these puppies supposedly will keep track of how much water I’ve drank during the day. Hmmm. Is that necessary? If I fill my glass 4 times then I can pretty much rely on the fact that I’ve had 4 glasses of water that day. And, taking this one step farther, if I know that my glass is 20 ounces, and I fill it 4 times, then I’ve had – say it with me – 80 ounces of water that day. No device required. And how does that thing distinguish between water and gatorade, or soda, or . . . oh I don’t know . . . wine? ‘Cuz, if it measured wine in-take I’d pretty much meet my quota every single day.

And, supposedly, they keep track of your sleeping habits (again – if you remember to wear them). At the risk of sounding redundant, what is the point of this? If I wake up at 3:00 in the morning and lay there awake for 2 hours, my clock will give me the same information as that little plastic strap on my wrist. I don’t need a device to let me know that I was awake for 2 hours in the middle of the night. Contrarily, if I wake up refreshed, having slept straight through the night, I don’t need to check my wrist to see how I’ve slept. This “feature,” makes no sense to me.

Photo courtesy Google Images.

I’m thinking a much better electronic device to invest in to ensure good health is one that requires you to solve a trigonometry problem before you can open the cookie jar.  Or do 20 jumping jacks before the refrigerator door will open. I’m thinking that would successfully solve this problem:

Photo courtesy Google images.

How about your dear readers, do you have a Fitbit, Jawbone or similar device? Do you like it? What gadgets would be helpful in your life to keep you fit and healthy?

Fun fact about me: I am not really into fancy techy gadgets.

Word of the Day: Vugh (alternate spelling)

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, January 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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