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Pecan Tree. Courtesy Google Images

Pecan Tree. Courtesy Google Images

Dear lovely ancient Pecan Tree:

Thank you for the lovely fruit. How I adore baking with the tasty nuggets you drop to the ground each fall. I do, however, have a request, if it’s not too much trouble? Would you henceforth please drop your tiny morsels of goodness in one neat pile on the pavement instead of scattering them all over the yard. And, while you’re at it, could you make it a nice sunny spot instead of those inticing shady areas where pesky mosquitos and mud bogs and snakes tend to lurk.

It’s not that I mind bending down and picking them up so much, but because they are all one lovely, non-descript shade of tan, they tend to blend in with everything, making them much harder to locate. Each morning it is like I am on some outlandish Easter egg hunt for the tiniest Easter eggs ever, all cleverly disquised as clods of mud and pebbles and chunks of cement. I am sure you surreptitiously watch me with merriment as I try to locate the delicatable treats through squinty eyes.

Photo coutresy Google Images.

Photo coutresy Google Images.

And finally, after dumping your nutty deliciousness in a tidy pile in the warm sunshine, perhaps you could talk to some of your feline friends, and ask them to protect the mound of morsels from thieving squirrels until such time as I can make my way outside to collect the bounty?

For all of your helpfulness, I shall reward you handsomely by trimming your foliage in an attractive fashion so as to inspire greater productivity next year and to keep your sturdy branches from overload and thus the threat of breakage, like what happened to the gentle giant in the driveway. I promise to take better care your support limbs and to admire the shade and beauty you provide each day, if only would you do your part by helping with the harvest.

Thank you in advance for your cooperation. I am sure by working together we can both become better living beings as a result. Oh sure, we’ll piss off the squirrels, but all in all, who really cares about pissing off the squirrels?

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Forever your most humble servant,

The Innkeeper

And so I ask you dear readers: have you ever harvested your own pecans? Walnuts? Almonds? Any advice for finding and gathering them? Not to mention cracking open those suckers?

Word of the Day: Kulak

Fun fact about me: I don’t really like pecans, but I have a lot of recipes that list pecans in the ingredient list.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, October 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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