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Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

I remember as a youngster, the first time I sassed my mother and she told me to watch my smart mouth. In my – very reasonable – tiny little mind, I took that comment literally and believed that my mother found me to be exceptionally bright. After all, she didn’t tell me to watch my dumb mouth, so I must be brilliant. Right?

Taking this “compliment” to heart, I proceeded to hone my smart mouth skills, using them every chance I could get. I repeatedly got the warning and each time my chest swelled with pride. I was getting smarter and smarter. Maybe I could skip kindergarten altogether and go straight to first grade.

Um – no.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

It wasn’t until one day my mother met with with the “paddle stick” in hand – yes that was the shiny slab of wood that my mother used to paddle the butts of rebellious children – that I realized, obviously too late, that having a smart mouth was in fact not such a good thing. Not a compliment at all, but rather something that might earn me a good whooping, as was the case on that particular day.

You see, my mother had had just about enough of my “genius” that afternoon and decided it was time to teach me, once and for all, that I should mind my mother.

“You can’t spank me,” I cried. “I’m a genius.”

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

After a couple of wallops on my sitting parts, my mother took mercy on me. “A smart mouth,” my mother patiently explained, “is a little girl who sasses and back-talks her mother.”

Say what? That would have been nice to know before now. (I’m guessing a true genius would have figured that out and spared themselves the spanking.)

“From now on,” my mother continues as though my unspoken words meant nothing to her, “when I tell you to watch your smart mouth, I suggest you think very carefully about how you say things after that.”

“Ooooo . . . k . . . k . . . k . . . aaaaaaay.”

And so there you have it. That’s the day I got the genius knocked right out of me and sealed my fate; I would in fact not skip kindergarten.

Lesson learned? Having a smart mouth does not make you a genius.

Do I still have a smart mouth? Oh, absolutely. I’m just very careful how and when I use it.

Photo courtesy Google Images

Photo courtesy Google Images

How about you – are you a “genius?” Did you ever get in trouble for having a smart mouth? Did you get spankings? If so, did you learn your lesson? I know I sure did.

Fun fact about me: You guessed it – I’m a smart mouth – I mean genius.

Word of the Day:  Umiak

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, January 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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