So I’ve recently discovered that my husband has a super power. He can see through cement walls. I didn’t know this about him until we moved into the new house, which is primarily cinderblock on the bottom floor, the floor with the living room and t.v.
You see, at my house, whenever my husband is home, the t.v. is almost always on, whether he is watching it or not. I do not understand this habit, but I have learned to live with it. I prefer quiet. No t.v., no radio, no talking. It’s blissful. (Plus it helps me hear the voices in my head, which, as you authors know, is vital if we want to succeed.) But, I love my husband dearly and so I’ve learned to accept the constant yammering away from the black box in the living room.
Here’s where I get a little cranky about the constant presence of the t.v. – when he’s not even in the house! I’m not talking about the minute or two jaunts when he goes outside to get firewood in, or to take the trash out. No I’m talking about when he goes out to mow the lawn, or play with the dog, or talk on the phone. (You see, he has to go outside to talk on the phone because it’s easier to hear outside without the t.v. noise distracting him.) Hmmmm.
But, I digress.
So out he goes to mow the lawn, which I love about him. He takes awesome care of the lawn and yard. But . . . turn the damn t.v. off when you go! He’s outside for half an hour or longer if I’m especially tolerant, when I’ve finally had enough and turn the set off. Two seconds later he comes barrelling in the front door. “I’m watching that!”
Really?
How the hell did he even know I turned it off? It’s ah-ma-zing! Every time. Whether I turn it off or just mute it, he always races in and proclaims that he is completely aware of what’s going on with the game, the race, the movie, whatever. Even the debate where everyone is talking on top of everyone else, he knows exactly what’s being said.
Which leads me to believe that apparently when this super power kicks in, it is accompanied by bionic ears because he is also able to hear despite the whirring of the lawn mower. They are apparently conjoint super powers, but only work in an exact set of circumstances because the heightened sense of hearing does not seem to work when I speak to my husband from another room. Perhaps it’s the sound of the lawn mower that engages this united super force.
It’s scary really. I’m a little creeped out by it. Especially since he can’t find anything in the refrigerator or pantry even if it’s right in front on the top shelf. With his uncanny sense of x-ray vision, I’d think he’d be able to see just about anything in plain sight. Perhaps I’ll put the refrigerator behind a cement wall. And turn on the lawn mower when I have something important to say. Hmmm.
And because I know my husband reads my blog (he’s awesome that way), I’m reiterating that I love him very much. He’s just got his . . . quirks.
So, how about you? Does your spouse have a super power? Does your significant other always have the t.v. on? Does it bother you? Do you prefer quiet, or do you need white noise? Inquiring minds want to know.
Word of the day: kibitzer
Fun fact about me: I know all the lyrics to the Pirates of the Caribbean song.
Wowzers!! Hubby is over at my blog writing about his “dream” NATSMAN super powers…GREAT minds! LOL!!
I bet he’d give his left arm to have some of your hubby’s abilities. See through cement walls and bionic hearing. Incredible! I mean…that shit will come in SUPER handy throughout his life…right?!
It’s shame it doesn’t translate into more every day type life situations. DANG. That’d have been super useful. Unfortunately, my hubby suffers from the same wife-related visual and hearing impairments. Odd how it seems to strike a LOT of men, eh?! And super odd how it’s JUST our voices and that symptoms seems to worsen the closer we are. Perhaps it’s an allergy type ailments given the proximity issues?!?! Hmmm…something to ponder as we continue to search for a cure….LOL!!
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Gotta love the hubs, quirks and all, but I sure wish I knew how he knows the exact moment I turn the tv off. That’s the scary part! It’s never off for 5 or 10 minutes before he comes to check the score of the game – NO – it’s off for a nanosecond.
I’m liking the allergy angle. Maybe there’s a pill to take for the ailment.
Thanks for stopping by Natalie. I’ll swing by your place to see what your guy has to offer today.
Patricia
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My husband does the same thing. In the bedroom. At night. He can be dead asleep, but turn the tv off and he pops up like a jack-in-the-box. The unfortunate thing is I can’t sleep with it on.
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Hi Kitt. I love your name! Kitt Crescendo! Sounds like a movie star!
I absolutely cannot sleep with the t.v. on either. Or the radio. I can handle a constant motor noise like a fan but nothing with voices – because – I listen.
Must be a men are from Mars, women are from Venus thing.
Thanks for stopping by.
Patricia
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Aww! Thanks! And I suspect you’re right. The only thing that makes sense is that men must be from another planet. 😉
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That is crazy/creepy/cool. I’m like you ~ I want the house silent to hear the voices in my head. My hubs doesn’t keep the tv on all the time, but when he does watch it, he likes to use the subwoofers and blast the volume. It’s a bit distracting, but I just close my office door. As for him having super powers? Well, he still loves me after all these years, so that’s got to be some kind of power, maybe tolerance? I’m a tad high maintenance. Only a tad. He’s a low-key kind of guy who owns exactly three pairs of shoes and one belt.
If I was you, I’d be turning that tv off all the time just to watch my hubs run in all wild and crazy. It would never get old. 😉
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Oooooo – I love that idea, Tameri! I could really see to it that he gets his exercise by constantly turning the t.v. off. Outside, inside, outside, inside. Tee Hee.
Unfortunately, he’s pretty sharp. I think he’d figure it out pretty quickly.
Thanks for stopping by today.
Patricia
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Wow, and I thought my husband was talented! He sees through his eyelids, and absorbs golf through osmosis. My dad also has this skill. And yes, the TV’s always on in my house (sigh). But I have a weapon of my own: headphones!
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Hi Jennette. Men have crazy super powers when it comes to sports. My husband watches several things at once. He just keep switching channels. Sundays are a constant blur of television stations.
I don’t have headphones, but I can shut my office door and turn on the radio. Of course when I’m in the kitchen I just have to suffer through. Ah, the sacrifices I make for the man I love.
Good to see you.
Patricia
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You know, with new tv’s sometimes they’re Bluetooth enabled or have USB slots that would make them compatible for wireless headphones. This may be something I need to consider getting him for Christmas…sooner if he keeps messing with my rem cycles, LOL! Thanks for the idea.
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Now there’s an idea!
Patricia
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Our house is quiet, in and out. I’m the one with the super-sonic hearing. Drives my DH nuts. 🙂
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Hi Sheila. I’m glad to see there’s another person who appreciates quiet.
Those bionic ears can come in handy.
Thanks for stopping by. Always nice to see your smiling face.
Patricia
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Jansen, What’s your husbands name? I swear we are married to the same man! Love your posts. Always make me laugh! Cyndi Faria
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My sweetheart is Corey and I love him to pieces. Do you resort to headphones or some other method of drowning out the noise?
Patricia
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Does your DH have this superpower? He falls asleep in front of the television, and when you turn it off, he say, “Hey! I was watching that!” I’ve learned to tune out the noise of the television. For example, the auto rebuilding show he’s semi-watching right now? I hardly even hear it. 🙂
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Oh yes – I never turn the t.v. off when he sleeping – er – watching. I’ve come to understand that those snoring noises he makes while he’s “watching” are actually vibrations used to open the inner mind for absorbing t.v. while he rests his eyes. There’s a science involved.
Of course the next morning he’ll say something like, “How come you went to bed and left me sleeping in my chair.” Go figure?
Love them though, don’t we?
Thanks for visiting today, Suzanne.
Patricia
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[…] and their super powers! Natalie had her Hubby’s Corner and Jansen Schmidt blogged about “I’m Watching That”. Both were hilariously […]
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Thanks for the links, Kitt!
Patricia
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How amazing you found a man with super powers. My husband likes it quiet for hours and it makes me nuts. I hear ringing in my ears after a while when it’s quiet. I respect his quiet time, but my writing goes better when I have white nose. I may not always pay attention to what is one, except when it’s a GB movie, of course and it is Gerry’s voice. It may go back to when I worked in an office where they placed a dot matrix printer about a foot from my head and I got used to the noise.
Nope, he has no super powers that I’ve noticed. 😦
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Well he’s a good guy anyway.
Thanks for stopping by my friend. Always good to see you.
Patricia
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Love this post. Hilarious!
It must be a man thing because having the TV on all the time and always too loud is a common compliant I hear. Same thing with my hubby. I’m always asking him to turn it down. I work in the other room with the door shut and it’s still distracting.
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I think it’s a guy thing too, Lynn. And channel surfing. What’s that all about?
Oh well, gotta love ’em!
Thanks for stopping by.
Patricia
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I laughed out loud at work when I read this one, Patricia!
I have to believe it’s *mostly* a guy thing. Mine was the same way–always had to have TV (preference) or radio (second choice) on. Definitely the radio was on in the car–talk radio, which is SO much harder to “tune out” as a passenger.
Now I was the one who couldn’t stand it when it was totally dark in the bedroom. Lived in the city too long and got used to the ambient light. So I went out and bought a half dozen night lights as soon as we were married!
Love your blog!
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Hi Madeline! Thanks for stopping by today.
I HATE talk radio. Same as I hate those talk shows where they have a panel of guests and they all talk on top of one another. OMG! Drives me nuts!!
I also don’t like listening to sports on the radio. I don’t understand how anyone can understand what’s going on without seeing the action.
Oh well, to each his own.
I don’t like total darkness at night either. I usually have at least 1 nightlight somewhere near the bedroom so there’s not pitch blackness around me.
I’m glad you got a snicker this afternoon. Keep coming by for more laughs.
Patricia
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Hi, Jansen/Patricia! Give me quiet. My husband likes the sound of the TV as company, and frquently turns it on “just to check the score.” Then he clicks from game to game. He’s good about turning it off before he goes outside, though, mostly because it used to bug him when our kids left lights on in unoccupied rooms. Every once in a while, he’ll go to bed before me and will kiss me goodnight then absent-mindedly flip off every light in the house, leaving me sitting in the glow of the TV or my laptop. Absent-mindedness isn’t a super power, is it?
Thank you again for the Booker Award. My post about it is here: http://rwrambling.blogspot.com/2012/09/reading-through-good-times-and-bad.html
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Ha! Leaving someone in the dark is not a super power, nor is absent-mindedness. If so, I’d have super powers too!
Thanks for stopping by. I’ll check out your books. Thanks for accepting the terms of the game!
Patricia
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Like Tameri’s husband, mine likes to blast his fancy speakers whenever he watches TV. He’s super proud of the volume he can attain. Once while demonstrating the speaker’s power to a friend of his, he turned it so loud that things fell off the top of the piano–five rooms away. Gotta love him though!
Thanks for the smile Patricia!
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OMG! Really? He got earthquake type velocity from having the speakers too loud? Wow! Those are some speakers.
That would never fly in my house. I can handle the constant noise (finally) but too loud – I draw the line. I don’t even like it when he practices his trombone in the house. That is loud enough.
Gotta love our guys though, right?
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts.
Patricia
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Hey! I read this back on the 5th. Can you believe I’m only leaving my comment now? Slacker! I forgot why I got pulled away from the computer that time, but now I’m typing on my NEW computer. Isn’t that special. I was laughing SO hard when I read this! Girl, you crack me up. Do you think guys have a sixth sense where the television is concerned? Sometimes I have to wonder. I finally winged my husband off of one in the bedroom. TG. I couldn’t sleep with the noise and flickering light. How do they do it? Thanks for this awesome post.
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I have no idea how anyone can sleep with the tv on, but my husband seems to have no problem. I’ll go downstairs at night and find him completely sound asleep, snoring no less, in his recliner. But the second I turn the tv off – BAM – he’s awake, proclaiming that he was NOT sleeping. Riiiggghhhhtttt!
Thanks for coming back! Always nice to see your smiling face.
Patricia
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Like you, I prefer silence: No radio, tv, music, talking, nothing. But my husband Joe (such a nice man, a friend calls him St. Joe), who rarely speaks, LOVES background noise. Always. Mostly music. So I bought him a super radio/CD player and advanced headphones, so he can hear his music even when he’s outside the house. Sweet.
Oh, and his super power? He always knows where I’ve let things around the house, and exactly where everything is in the fridge. Don’t know how he does it.
Thanks for this fun post, Jansen.
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Thanks for writing such an ea-untosy-derstand article on this topic.
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