How many of you have ever found yourself in a situation where you have to walk with the masses, maybe with your elbows squeezed against your sides so don’t accidentally hook arms, bump elbows or whatnot?
I’m short, with short legs, so walking en masse is not the easiest thing for me. I tend to sort of get pushed along from behind or bypassed on either side by giants wanting to walk faster than I am able to. Plus, I usually can’t see farther than the person’s back in front of me so I have no idea what I need to be prepared for up ahead. It’s a bit intimidating.
And then there are the situations where perhaps part of the crowd is walking one way and the other part is walking in the opposite direction. You sort of feel like a salmon spawning. Or, worse yet, people are walking in a bunch of different directions. It’s chaos I tell you, CHAOS.
Well I’m here today to give you some basics for proper walking in a crowd.
1 – Do NOT push the person in front of you. Just go with the flow. If you MUST walk faster than the masses, go around to the edges instead of plowing your way through the middle.
Oh who am I kidding? Just push and shove until you’ve reached your destination. After all, life is all about you.
2 – If someone is walking directly toward you, don’t assume it’s a game of chicken. Just politely swerve one way or the other. Now this does require a bit of physic ability because you have to determine if the person coming at you is also going to swerve and if so, which direction they’ll go. Use caution my friends. Direct your antenna in their direction and choose left or right. Unless you want to do this sort of bob left, bob right kind of jig thing.
Or, better yet, just continue walking directly at them and force them to move. If they do not, hey, you’ve made a new friend.
3 – If your toes are bumping into the heels of the person in front of you, slow down a little bit. This one seems like a no brainer, but I’m telling you people don’t seem to understand how this works. Ramming your toes into my heels from behind is not going to get me to move faster. Especially if I’m already nearly bumping my toes into the heels of the person in front of me.
Or, just keep nudging me. If you’re lucky I’ll trip and you can walk right on over me and be one person closer to your destination.
4 – If you have a shopping cart, stroller, wheelchair, or – God help us all – a scooter, give yourself a wide berth because chances are that person feels empowered with that device in front of them. If you have the cart, stroller, wheelchair, or scooter, please – I can’t stress this enough – PLEASE do not follow someone too closely. Having the skin shorn off your Achilles tendon is one of the most painful experiences a person can suffer.
Oh, who am I kidding, just use that thing to ram into whoever gets in your way. It’s the fastest way to get to where you need to go. Bonus: Saying “Ooops, sorry,” as you go by makes this tactic even more impressive.
So, there you have it folks. The basics of walking in a crowd. It’s simple really. Just remember that the world revolves around you and if people don’t get out of your way, do whatever you feel is necessary to move them along faster or out of your way. Life is way too short to be considerate and polite.
What advice can you share about walking in a crowd? Have I forgotten something? I’d love to here about your crowd-walking experiences.
Word of the day: Flibbertigibbet
Fun fact about me: I love the word fliggertigibbet!
Original post by Jansen Schmidt, September 2018. Photos and images courtesy Google Images.
All good tips, Patricia, especially the footnotes. As Woody Allen once said; “I don’t mind crowds, it’s the people in them I hate.”
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Hi Al. Welcome back. I just returned from Disney World not too long ago and on several occasions I wanted to give this advice to those crammed in around me. Especially after the fireworks when EVERYONE is trying to exit the park at the same time.
If nothing else, these experiences give me good ideas for blog posts.
Thanks for stopping by today. I hope you enjoy the rest of your week.
Patricia
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I’m afraid I don’t relate very well today. At 6’2″ I don’t really consider myself tall – my stepson is 6’7″ – but I can usually see where I’m going in a crowd.
I’m also not a fliggertigibbet. BTW Google corrected this to “flibbertigibbet.” Anyhow, I’m much more likely to stand in a corner and not speak unless someone speaks to me.
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Oh dear – did I misspell the word of the day? (bang head on desk). Flibbertigibbet is correct.
Being short sucks sometimes. I have to keep little step stools in every room in my house so I can reach stuff on the upper shelves. Oh well, I can stand up on airplanes even with the overhead bin directly over my head. Take that tall people!
Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy the rest of this fine week.
Patricia
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My advice for walking in crowds? Avoid it whenever possible! I hate being in a crowd, and this is getting worse as I age. You summed it up perfectly in your second paragraph; I’m short too, and seeing nothing but people’s backs and chests makes me extremely uncomfortable. If I have to be in a crowd and I’m with my husband, I just walk as closely behind him as I can. He’s a big guy and he clears a path pretty well. 🙂 If I’m by myself? I hang on the edges and get away ASAP.
Hope your trip to Disney was tons of fun and worth braving the crowd!
My daughter was a fliggertigibbet when she was little. Wish I’d known that word back then–we could’ve had some fun with it!
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Jennette, I also walk directly behind my husband and let him part the sea in front of me. I hook my fingers into his belt loops and just stumble along behind him.
And, as David pointed out, the word is actually flibbertigibbet with “b,s” not “g’s.” I spelled it wrong. The first time I heard this word was while watching the Sound of Music. It’s in the song “How Do You Solve A Problem Like Marie?” (or whatever the actual title is). Ever since, I’ve loved that word.
Have a great rest of the week and stay away from crowds.
Patricia
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Ah, that brought back horrible memories of being in Vegas on the 4th of July. The sidewalk bottlenecked, and it was literally human sardines, with masses trying to go both ways. It took forever to get free, and it was then that I vowed to never again be in Vegas on the 4th of July. Ever. I’m short too, and being stuffed up against at least five other people I didn’t know, unable to see beyond backs and shoulders, surrounded by the smell of sweat and cheap perfume, hardly able to breathe…did I mention I hate crowds? Not my favorite memory. And you’re SO right about the people with carts, strollers, and scooters. It’s like they believe they’re a higher level of society and all the peons just need to get out of their way.
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I have some similar memories of Vegas on a hot summer day. Wouldn’t it be nice if all of those casinos just connected and you could walk from one to the other without having to go outside. The exhaust fumes are nauseating as well. I remember Vegas before they had all of the elevated walkways and everyone was at street level. Talk about noisy, smelly and hot.
Let’s not even talk about the cart people.
Thanks for stopping by. I appreciate hearing from fellow shorties like me. The problems are real. Have a great rest of the week
Patricia
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