Stupid Dad Words – Part 2

On a couple of occasions in the past, I’ve blogged about my dad and his quirkiness. I’m not going to bore you with the history, but my dad is back in Mississippi and living here at the inn with my husband and I again. It has been a blessing and a burden at the same time.

I love my dad. His heart is in the right place (usually), but his brain doesn’t always engage before activity, like talking. He’s in his ‘80’s so he’s not always . . . how shall I say it . . . politically correct. He’s from a different generation and has 80 years of engrained behavior that probably won’t ever change. He also enjoys talking to people. He’s lonely so he likes to chat with the inn guests. This can be a little scary given his proclivity to say stuff without considering his words.

My dad has a 7^th grade education, at best, and he’s not good at puzzle solving without something tangible to relate the problem to. For instance, he can put a bunch of machine parts together and make the engine run again without any instructions whatsoever. He cannot, however, figure out how to organize a list of things into categories. Jigsaw puzzles are problematic, fixing a vacuum cleaner is not.

Suffice it to say, words are not his thing. He’s a little better at basic math, but grammar and spelling are horrible. This often provides secret entertainment for me. Call me a bad person, but I make fun of the things my dad says almost every day. Secretly, of course. If I try to correct him, he usually doesn’t understand what he said wrong in the first place, so it’s an exercise in futility. I just laugh inwardly and move on. Then blog about it later. (I’m such a bad daughter.)

Yes, I know that is the wrong you’re. It’s someone else’s meme.

Here are some examples. A week or so ago we were sitting in a doctor’s office waiting for the doctor. We were both looking at magazines. My dad turns to me and says, “This sounds good. Rosary smoked chicken.”

Me, in my head, is it only for Catholics? Or for former Catholics who burn their rosary beads to create smoke for the chicken to cook in?

Now, I know that he meant rosemary chicken, but rosary chicken is so much more fun to ponder don’t you think?

Another time, after we talked through a situation, he said, “Yes. I think that was the whole compound of things.”

Me, nodding. He’s probably right.

One morning he came into the kitchen and, after getting his coffee, he says, “I reminisced the things to do today.”

Me, nodding. I think he meant he reviewed the to-do list, but I could have been wrong. I often reminisce but usually not about the things I have to do that day.

Dad: “I’m going to the hardware store.”

Me: “Okay, which one.” (When he leaves home I like to know where he’s headed in case he gets lost.)

Dad: “Hades.”

Me: “Do you mean Hayden?” In my mind, “Or are you actually going to try to find hell?”

Another conversation: Dad: “Did those re-enactors come again last year?”

Me: “No, not last year.”

Dad: “Because of the cobalt?”

Me: “No, because of the covid.”

Dad: “The boat (riverboat cruise) must be leaving. I heard the kaleidoscope.”

Me: “The calliope.”

Dad: “No, the boat.”

Me, nodding.

The most offending one, the one that grates on my nerves the worst is when he talks about needing to go to the corepractor. He means chiropractor, but he NEVER says that. He ALWAYS says corepractor, even after I correct him. And he says this word out loud and often. A lot of people give me a puzzled look. I explain. People nod. Dad still uses the wrong word. He even uses that word when he’s at the chiropractor, in with the chiropractor, during his chiropractic adjustment.

And here are a couple of expressions that I’ve heard people, other than my dad, use that drive me nuts: dilapitated for dilapidated. It’s dated not tated.

And I hear people on the news quite often talk about accidents on the highways and refer to the medium. I can’t help but wonder if a ghost conjurer is in danger or if they’re referring to the divider between two lanes of traffic.

Median

Medium

So, there you have it, my second installment of weird dad words. If you missed the first episode, you can catch it here: https://jansenschmidt.wordpress.com/2015/10/05/stupid-dad-words/

Do you guys have regular contact with someone who always misuses a word? I know there are the usual offenders who say axe instead of ask, but is there something specific that someone in your immediate circle of family and friends says? Come on, share the fun.

Word of the Day: Gastronome

Fun fact about me: I’m secretly a snob.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, October 2021. Images by Google.

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