The Great Wind Up

I don’t know about you, but traveling is always a bit stressful for me. Not so much, the actual going and doing, but the pre-travel hoopla and the returning home re-set. Stressful is probably not the exact word to describe how I feel but certainly a sense of anxiety surrounds the whole about-to-leave-home event. Probably because I’m the planner in my traveling group. Plans don’t just happen people. They develop. And that takes time.

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The Great Confiscation – Damn You TSA!

So, I think you know that I recently traveled to Appleton, Wisconsin to attend the Writer’s Police Academy. It was a blast!! Met some amazing people and learned some super cool stuff. Getting there was fine; 3 flights, 4 airports, no food, and 2 really quick trips to the restroom while running through airport concourses to my next flight. But all-in-all, not too bad. Coming home? Not so much.

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If You Need To Go North, Head East

I’m not a math person, but I am able to do basic math. Most of the time. I’m not all into the X + Y = the square root of pi stuff, but adding and subtracting and multiplying, you know the basic everyday stuff, I can handle. Most of the time the use of math is just automatic and I don’t even think about it, I just make the calculation and off I go. Most of the time I don’t even question my result. But sometimes, once in a while . . . .

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Saw It At The Airport

I recently returned home from a vacation where I traveled by airplane. Airplane travel is always an interesting proposition for lots of reasons. The biggest drawback to air travel is people because, well, people tend to be people and we all know how people can be.

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Let’s Talk Toilets (and Other Bathroom Stuff)

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Since when has using a toilet become so complicated that we need self-flushing devices? As toddlers, we learn the basics of toilet operation. Have we evolved to the point of complete helplessness? What’s up with the self-flushing toilets? Are these really necessary? I get it, that some people are lame and don’t flush after they do their business, but does that justify needing self-flushing toilets for everyone? I mean, how hard is it to flush a toilet?

I’ve found that most of these “modern” models don’t even flush when they’re supposed to. Or worse yet, some flush repeatedly; over and over and over. How much water is wasted from these continually flushing engineering wonders? Have you ever been quietly sitting on one of these self-flushing jobbies and have it flush before you’re done? It’s downright frightening. Not only do you get a wake up call, but your bottom gets a wash job. You also have a terrifying moment wondering if you’re going to get sucked into a deep dark vortex of sewage. Heaven help you if you were wiping at that very moment. Sit carefully my friends and once in position – do not move.

Image courtesy Google Images.

Now from the horrors of the stall, we move to the downright silliness of the automated sinks and soap dispensers. Okay, I’ll admit, the automated sinks are a nice feature, especially at the airport where you’re toting around a handbag or backpack and 50 pounds of luggage, it’s nice to just stick you hands under the faucet. But, first you must find the exact spot of the sensor to engage the water. Sometimes this is like sticking a square peg into a triangle hole with all the finageling and finger waving you must do. Some sinks are like a math problem, finding the right angle of entry and quadrant for positioning from the faucet so you don’t get your midriff sprayed at the same time. Again, I wonder at the need for these faucets? Who can’t figure out how to operate a basic bathroom sink?

Photo courtesy Google Images.

Once you’ve found the correct entry point for the water, you must do the same with the soap dispenser and then hold very still while you lather up and rinse because, if you move your forearm or wrist just enough, you’ll get another squirt of soap on your sleeve and then have to re-calculate faucet entry again. Please dear readers, be very careful at the sink station. Apparently we’ve raising a society of really stupid people who can’t seem to figure out how to dispense soap.

And finally, we arrive at the paper towel area which is ususally surrounded by a huge pool of water from dripping hands and sleeves and midriffs while people frantically wave their arms in front of the machine to get the paper to come out. Now, if you’re lucky at the paper towal dispenser, you’ll get more than a 3 inch strip of toweling with which to dry your hands and soaking sleeves, still sudsy from the over-achieving soap dispenser. If you’re not so lucky, you’ll need to wait a few seconds and wave your arms again for a second equally small slice of paper. Do this enough times and you’re hands will have drip dried onto the floor and there won’t be any need for additional stips of towel. Perhaps that’s the ultimate goal of these stingy dispensers; simply let the hands air dry.

Photo courtesy Google Images

And so I ask, are these devices making our lives easier? Do you prefer automated bathrooms or good old-fashioned hands on restrooms? I’d love to hear your automated bathroom story. Don’t be bashful, let’s get this out in the open and discuss it.

Word of the Day: Hegira

Fun Fact about me: Like Laverne (Laverne & Shirley), I like milk and Pepsi.

Original post by Jansen Schmidt, October 2015. Photos courtesy Google Images.

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